Experiencing ADDvantages

Restructuring

So it's been about a month and a half now since Erin began working full time in the ADD Management Group. Things have been going well, and it's actually been easier than expected for us to work together. This is partly because we keep different hours. Erin gets up earlier than I do and takes advantage of her morning-person-ness. I start and end my day a little later.

One unexpected problem we've experienced, however, is that Erin has been taking care of me a little too much.

See, I've been working all by myself in a home office for over 4 years. I have systems. And Erin, even thought she means well, has been dismantling them. Here are some examples:

• She's been getting up, taking the dogs out, and feeding them. But hungry dogs who have to pee really bad used to ensure that I got up at a reasonable time.
• Once she takes care of the dogs, she closes the bedroom door so they can't come in and bug me. But cuddly dogs on the bed also have a way of waking me up in a happy and peaceful way.
• She moved my alarm closer to me so I don't have to get up to press the snooze button. But getting up to press the snooze button is one of my strategies for waking up and getting out of bed.
• Believe me, there are more examples I could list!

Erin means well, and of course she didn't realize that she was screwing me up. In fact, I didn't even realize it until I seriously overslept one day.

Sometimes a non-ADD partner will try to make life easier for their ADD partner by imposing their own systems. The person always means well, but doesn't understand: ADDers do things differently. We have our own systems and structure that might not make sense to anyone else. If it work, who cares?

So Erin and I had a talk about it this week, and Erin is going to leave my systems in tact and do her own thing in the morning.

It's lovely when your partner cares enough about you to try and make your life easier. But if good intentions interfere with your ADD management systems, then don't be afraid to reject them.

My new book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD is now available at a presale discount. Reserve your copy today!

ADDA Presents Four Regional Conferences

The Attention Deficit Disorder Association is presenting four regionals meetings in lieu of it's annual conference this year. The dates and locations are as follows:

Providence, RI: September 28-29th
San Francisco, CA: October 6th
Atlanta, GA: October 19-20th
Chicago, IL: November 3rd

I'm not sure yet if we'll be making it to any of the events. If you live nearby a meeting site, however, then I encourage you to attend! Registration rates are more than reasonable, you'll learn a lot, and meet some very cool people.

Visit the ADDA website for registration information.

 

What Would You Do For $12 Million?

Leona Helmsley died earlier this month. You may remember her as the "Queen of Mean" real estate tycoon who went to prison for tax evasion.

Her will was made public today. In it, she left $12 million to her dog, Trouble. Now, I love my dogs very much and I take great care of them. But all they need to be happy is good food, a hiking trail, a rubber ball, and daily love and kisses. They wouldn't know what to do with $12 million.                      

She also left a couple million to her brother, and $5 million each to two of her four grandchildren. The other two got nothing. The two that were left money (less than half of what she left the dog) had to follow her orders of visiting their father's grave once a year or "neither of them will get a penny."

If I was one of Leona Helmsley's grandchildren, my response would be "Lady, keep your money. Give it to your dog."                      

My new book, Odd One Out, is all about the maverick approach to adult ADD. You might think that Leona Helmsley was a maverick, but really she was just a mean old lady.

True mavericks aren't mean, bitter people. They simply know who they are and aren't afraid to go for what they want. They aren't concerned about playing by someone else's rules. Even if that someone else holds millions of dollars over their head.                      

Too many adults with ADD get caught up in trying to live up to other people's rules, examples, and standards. It's a waste of time. Trying to fit into a mold that doesn't fit you will never lead to happiness and success.

Adults with ADD  need to make their own rules and standards according to what works for them. That means that you have to embrace your differences and not worry about standing out from the crowd. When you're able to do this, criticism and negative feedback won't mean that much. Toxic  people won't slow you down...even if they hold millions of dollars over your head and threaten to give it to the dog.                      

I don't know how Leona Helmsley's family responded to her will, but I hope they didn't take it too personally. Clearly, the Queen of Mean had some emotional issues that never got worked out.

As you live your life as an adult with ADD, you have two choices: you can struggle to follow everyone's rules - even when they don't fit you, or you can embrace your differences and make your own rules. It's the maverick ADDer's approach to happiness and success. It's certainly the path I follow.                      

Which path are you on?

            

Deadlines, Deadlines

All of us here at the ADD Management Group are incredibly excited about the response to my new book Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. The orders are pouring in, and so are the questions! Here's a popular one: How does a busy ADDer get it together long enough to write a book?

I've often heard Sari Solden talk about the difficulty she had writing her two books. I didn't think the same challenges would apply to me. I have been a writer for a long time and I've always wanted to write a book. I thought that alone would carry me. Wrong!

I've been working on this book for over a year. It's been written and rewritten, loved and ignored. Perfectionism has been a struggle and something that I have constantly coached myself on.

Ultimately, I learned the secret to completing the book: deadlines. And not just any deadlines, but deadlines that involved other people.

Erin has been managing this project. She would give me deadlines for each chapter, but it wouldn't do much. What really lit the fire was giving me deadlines that involved other people. Like, you need to have the first draft to the editor on Monday. With a deadline like that, time and money were on the line!

I was no longer just accountable to myself, I was accountable to other people, and it made all the difference.

The next time you have difficulty completing a project, try tying your deadline to someone else!

Presale orders are now being accepted for Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. Reserve your copy today and save!

My Book Is Here!

Adults with ADD struggle to fit into a world that doesn't always fit them.

If you’re an adult with ADD, then you know firsthand how hard it can be to get it together and stay focused, become organized, manage your time and take care of yourself.

You know how hard it is to play the game of life following other people’s rules.

     But what if you could be happy and successful by breaking the rules?

     What if you could be yourself, and use those differences to your advantage?

     What if you could relish being the odd one out?

Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide To Adult ADD doesn’t just tell you about these skills; it provides a roadmap to success.

     Inside, You’ll Learn How To:

           -Break the overwhelm-burnout cycle

           -Put yourself first in order to care for those around you

           -Work with your attention inconsistencies

           -Be more organized by doing less work

           -Get a handle on time management

           -Create a vision and a plan for your life

           -Embrace and enhance your maverick nature

Odd One Out will be shipping on or before September 30th, 2007 and will retail for $19.95.

Reserve your copy now and save! Presale orders are just $16.95, including shipping and handling in the US.

Visit the Odd One Out website to reserve your discounted copy today!

 

Green Acres

I'm reading a great book, Real Food: What to Eat and Why, that I'll be talking more about next week. The author grew up on a farm and is a big proponent of eating local, organic, natural food - the kind our great, great grandparents ate.

Erin picked up the book the other day and started reading. "She sure makes farm living sound good. Do you think you could live on a farm?"

I thought about it for a few minutes. It sounds great - living in a peaceful setting, picking fresh vegetables for meals, being surrounded by animals. But it's also a lot of work. Farmers get up very early and work long, hard hours. I'm sure I'd love it for three days, and then be bored, tired, and pissed off.

It got me thinking, though, that despite Thom Hartmann's theory that the ADDers of prehistoric times must have been the hunters, farm life might actually work for certain adults with ADD.

Those adults who are hyperactive or idle high (and like to go, go, go) would probably really appreciate the opportunity to stay physically active with a purpose. Plus, seeing your hard work rewarded in the form of fruits and vegetables would be a big plus. And being able to think up new strategies to make the farm more efficient would be a nice motivator, too.

I'm really curious: are there any ADD farmers out there? And for everyone else, does the idea of life on a farm appeal to you, or does it make you want to kiss the concrete of a city sidewalk?

You Should Be In Pictures

So I've gotten a lot of great responses to the announcement about my book, Odd One Out, which makes me even more excited about finally getting it out there!

I've also received a lot of feedback about my new picture. Seems that the old one really bothered people! Okay, okay, I know that it wasn't a professional picture. But was it really that bad?

The good news is that everyone loves the new photo. And it's now on the website, the newsletter, and on the top left over there in the blogs. What do you think?

Sharon Will Be Speaking at a Conference Just for Moms!

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Associate Coach

I am excited to announce that I will be a guest speaker this October at Momference - the first-ever, live, week-long teleconference for women in all stages of life and motherhood!

This event will provide access to experts on timely and relevant topics such as parenting, career, relationships, home, self-care and much more.

My presentation, which will be on Monday, October 1, is on Identifying and Managing Attention Deficit Disorder. I am really looking forward to this event. If you are interested in learning more, please visit the Momference website!

                     

BIG NEWS: My New Book!

My long-awaited book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD, is coming out next month!

I've been working on the book for a long time now, and am so pleased that we're in the final stages of development and almost ready to begin selling it. The book is based on my ADD coaching model and teaches how to be happy and successful by breaking the rules.

We'll be announcing a pre-order sale this week. Stay tuned!

 

Living in the Present

When you have Adult ADD, it's all too easy to fall into a state of overwhelm. At home or at work, shopping or paying the bills, doing the laundry or feeding the kids, overwhelm is triggered when the pressures of day-to-day living begin to build.

However, if you pay attention to the overwhelm, you'll most likely notice that what you're really consumed by is either 1) thoughts of the past or 2) thoughts of the future.

The state of overwhelm is full of questions like:

Why did I do that?

How will I get out of this situation?

Why didn't I stand up for myself?

What's going to happen if I can't fix this problem?

These are all examples of living in the past and the future. And while it is important to learn from the past and work towards the future, it's not helpful to be preoccupied with either.

In the state of ADD overwhelm, you've got to take a step back and bring your mind into the present. Some good questions to ask yourself are:

What can I do right now to calm down my mind?

What can I do right now to begin getting a handle on the things that are overwhelming me?

What can I do right now to put things into perspective and get out of this state of overwhelm?

The next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, take a break and take a few breaths. Then take yourself out of the past and the future, and plant yourself in the present.

When you get right down to it, the present is the only place in which you can make a difference!