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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween Treat for AD/HD Families: Last Day to Save

No tricks today, just treats!

This is a quick reminder that today is the last day to pre-order our new product for parents:

Taming the Family Circus: Solutions for AD/HD Parents with AD/HD Kids

When you follow the program in the Taming the Family Circus coaching toolkit, you'll:

  1. Learn parenting techniques that take your AD/HD into account, as well as your kid's.
  2. Get the information and strategies you need to raise successful and happy kids with AD/HD, and stay sane in the process.
  3. Find out why taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of your kids.
  4. Get practical ideas for little things you can do for yourself that will have a positive impact on your whole family.
  5. Discover why it doesn't work to try and fix your child's weaknesses, or your own.
  6. Put together an action plan for focusing on your family members' strengths.
  7. Learn how to develop structure that will help your whole family run smoothly.
  8. Create routines that will make everyone's lives easier.

This coaching toolkit includes a 58-minute audio CD and 26-page booklet, and is priced at $47 plus shipping and handling. The toolkit will begin shipping on or around November 5th. Those who order early will enjoy over 20% off the standard retail price and pay just $37!

PLUS, blog readers get fr.ee shipping in the US when you use coupon code POFSH.

AND, the product is backed by a 110% guarantee. So you have nothing to lose by trying it.

But this is the last day to get this product at the pre-order introductory price, so please don't delay!

Addmgmt3dprodsmall

Taming the Family Circus: Solutions for AD/HD Parents with AD/HD Kids

Pre-Order Sale: $37

Use coupon code POFSH for fr.ee shipping in the US!

Normally $47 + S&H. Pre-order sale ends 10/31/07.

Buynow_blue




You CAN raise successful and happy kids with AD/HD...and stay sane in the process!



For Your Distraction: Happy Halloween

This funny and all-too-true Trick-or-Treating Guide is courtesy of CollegeHumor.



Where to go, and what to expect when you get there:

A. Shady Ponds Senior Community

- Werther’s
- Raisins
- Pennies
- Grapes that hold the distant promise of one day being raisins
- Obsolete candy from the '50s, i.e. Yessuh™ brand Darkies
- Husband’s ashes

B. Overenthusiastic A-Hole Lane
- Man who hides in bushes, waiting to pounce (rumored Vietnam vet)
- Self-proclaimed defender of the Halloween Spirit who refuses to give candy to kids without costumes, doesn’t count “Pillowcase Face”
- Man who dresses up as something inappropriately horrifying (past costumes include Late Stage Pancreatic Cancer Victim and Neo-Nazi)

C. Desperate To Be A Cool Dad Street
- Unguarded basket filled with King Size Snickers, marked “Take One Only Please”
- Guilt
- Two King Size Snickers bars crudely taped together and marked “Emperor Size” (this is the ultimate house, unless you really like steak)
- Steak. Succulent, freshly-grilled slabs of USDA Grade-A marinated London Broil
- Candy Cigarettes

D. Mom Told Us Not To Go Here Alley
- Real Cigarettes
- Cans of spray paint and keys to his ex-wife’s house
- Just about anything in exchange for a bottle of Jim Beam – living room chairs, light fixtures, credit cards. Note: Make sure you bring a bottle of Jim Beam
- Unguarded basket filled with unsheathed razorblades, marked “Take As Many As You Want”
- An actual axe murderer. Dangerous, but he gives out King Size Zagnuts (your call)

E. The Dentist
- Unprecedented amounts of candy
- His business card

F. The Guy Who Pretends Not To Be Home

- An unspoken agreement that his house will be toilet papered

G. The Inventor of Runts
- Apology

Enjoy your Halloween! (I'll be sitting on the stairs staring into a bowl of candy and reminding myself that it's for the kids, not for me.)
                                                   

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

How to Cultivate a Positive Attitude

I started work with a new coaching client this week and I was quite impressed with one of the things he was focused on: appreciation.

Having finally found a job in which he is appreciated, he is happy at work, and now has turned his attention to family life. He has made a conscious decision to connect with all his family members on a deeper level and Step 1 is taking stock of how much he appreciates each and every person.

There is a powerful lesson here for all adults with ADD. Before being able to be truly happy and move forward, you have to appreciate where you are and how far you've come. You have to appreciate that everything you've done in your life--mistakes and all--had a good reason behind it. You have to be able to look at yourself, and the people around you, and see the good.

It's easy to start cultivating this positive attitude. Simply check in with yourself once a day (and once a week at minimum) and review what went right. Force yourself to stop and switch the focus from the bad to the good. You can also do this exercise with the people in your life as the subject matter. For example, noticing and appreciating when your spouse does something to help you out.

Adopting an attitude of appreciation changes your whole mindset. Instead of being focused on what's wrong, you're focused on what's right. As a result, you have more energy, motivation, and resilience.

Want to learn more about 'ADDjusting Your Attitude' for better ADD management? Then check out Chapter 3 in my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD!

Monday, October 29, 2007

More on ADD in the Family

As you may know, experts suspect that ADD is genetic. So if one person in your family has ADD, chances are at least one other person does, too!                        

Note: If you're the parent of a child with Attention Deficit Disorder, you'll definitely want to keep reading...

When you live in a household with more than one ADDer, you often have double the stress, double the overwhelm, and double the chaos! The challenges are even more complicated by the fact that while ADD has some common symptoms and challenges, no two people are alike.                   

Fortunately, there are some very basic and simple strategies that you can employ to ensure that your ADD household runs smoothly. And these strategies will work if you're the only ADDer in your home, or if you're surrounded by other ADDers!                     

  1. Keep individual stress levels down. The more stressed out you are, the harder it is to manage your ADD challenges. Time management, organization, focus, and other challenges become more difficult than ever to control successfully. Consequently, the more stressed out individual family members are, the more difficult it becomes to live with them!

    Stress management needs to be a priority for everyone in the home, and that includes non-ADDers, too!

  2. Focus on individual strengths. ADDers respond much better to praise than criticism. Acknowledgement of strengths increases self-esteem and provides energy and motivation to continue building on success.

    It's human nature to respond positively to praise, as opposed to criticism. So shower everyone in the household with praise and recognition to create a happy and positive environment!

  3. Create structure.   Kids tend to need more structure than adults, but everyone in the household can benefit from some predictability.

    Structure in the form of bedtime routines, meal schedules, and fun time can do wonders for adults with ADD who often need a little more help slowing down. And non-ADDers will appreciate knowing when they can count on enjoying some time with their ADDers!

ADD families need not be stressed out and frantic. With some patience and a little work, the home environment can transform from chaos to calm!                      

Some Extra Help for Parents

Introducing the ADD Management Group's newest coaching toolkit...                      

Taming the Family Circus: Solutions for AD/HD Parents with AD/HD Kids

You want only the best for your child with AD/HD. You want them to be happy, successful, and stress-free. But it's hard. Kids with AD/HD often need special attention to ensure that they are happy and optimally functioning...

...and your own AD/HD often gets in the way of your efforts to be an effective parent.                      

Without the appropriate systems and structure to meet your children's needs--as well as your own--then clutter, chaos and confusion will create high stress levels in the family. This can lead to increased anxiety and/or depression in children and parents alike.

Taming the Family Circus: Solutions for AD/HD Parents with AD/HD Kids is a coaching toolkit that teaches you how to raise successful and happy kids while staying sane in the process!                      

We'll help you:

  1. Get the tools you need to help your whole family run smoothly.
  2. Implement the strategies in your own home.
  3. Take action and enjoy the rewards of these positive solutions.

And show you how to:                      

  1. Take care of yourself in order to take care of  your family.
  2. Create a peaceful home environment that nurtures  strengths and success.
  3. Develop structure that will put your whole  family at ease

This multimedia coaching toolkit includes a 58-minute audio CD that guides you through each solution, and  26-page booklet that walks you through the implementation of each step.                      

Order Now and Enjoy a 20% Discount Plus Free Shipping in the US!

The toolkit will begin shipping next week and will sell for $47 plus shipping and handling.           

However, if you order before October 31st, you'll enjoy  20% off the standard retail price and pay just $37!

And blog readers get free shipping, too! Just use coupon code POFSH when ordering.                      

Plus, we offer a 110% guarantee! But remember, this offer expires on midnight, October 31.

Taming the Family Circus: Solutions for AD/HD Parents with AD/HD Kids                                           

Buy Now! or visit the product website.

Pre-Order Sale: $37

Use coupon code POFSH for free shipping in the US!

Normally $47 + S&H. Pre-order sale ends 10/31/07. 

Your family doesn’t  have to succumb to the chaos of AD/HD. You can create an effective, productive, and  stress-free environment for your  whole family!                                                                             

Friday, October 26, 2007

Mental Health Days

You may be lucky enough to work for a company that allows you to take "Mental Health Days." Or your may own the company, like me, in which case you can take a mental health day whenever you damn well please!

"Mental Health Days" are like sick days, except that the rest you need is to recover from mental stress instead of physical illness. You don't work. Of course, any one of us could make a good argument for taking one Mental Health Day a week, but most of us have to use them accordingly.

Yesterday was a Mental Health Day for me. I had some doctor's appointments and errands to run, and felt good while I was out and about. When I got back home, though, the thought of going back to the office to work was too much to handle. For a number of reasons, I just wanted to light a fire in the fireplace, and cozy up with a book.

There was a time when I would have wavered over the decision to take some Mental Health time, and told myself that it didn't matter how I felt, I had work to do. Not anymore.

One thing I've learned in my life is that when your body or mind calls you to rest, it does so for a reason. Mental or physical, when you feel compelled to slow down, there's a valid reason.

So I did exactly what I wanted to yesterday afternoon. I started a fire and opened up a book. It was exactly what I needed. Today I feel refreshed and ready to work. If I had pushed myself yesterday, I would no doubt be feeling even more stressed today.

Do you allow yourself Mental Health Days every now and then when you need them? Please share your comments below.

Want more ideas for slowing down and breaking the cycle of overwhelm? Then be sure to get your copy of my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD.

                                          

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

ADD Moments: It Runs in the Family

Last week I took a trip to Hawthorne Valley Farm to stock up on my raw milk and cheese, and the best yogurt ever. I brought my mom with me, hoping to get her interested in farm-fresh, real food. She was happy to come along and explore. Maybe a little too happy.

You see, I'm convinced my mother has undiagnosed ADD. There is no doubt in my mind that the ADD comes from her branch of the family tree. So when you put my mother in a new place with lots of interesting things to explore, you get classic ADD distractability. And her distracted wanderings throughout the store quickly turned into my distracted (and somewhat annoyed) shopping.

I tried to explain that while the farm store is small, there's a lot there, and I long ago created a route through the store that covered every nook. Stay with me, I told her, and I'll explain all the products and stuff as we go along.

No such luck.

She went right to the cheese, which is the last stop on my route, not the first. "Is this cheddar gonna be creamy? Cause I won't like it if it's not." I have no idea, Ma. Read the label.

Then she was onto the butter, which I have been raving about, while I attempted to load up my cart with the last yogurt tubs on the shelf. "Is this butter salted? Because I don't like unsalted." Yes, Mom. If it says "salted," then it's salted. "Well I hope so, because I don't like unsalted butter!"

Then, as I was scooping some brown rice into a bag, she ran ahead to the next aisle. "Ooh, this is the pet aisle!" Yes, Mom, would you just stay with me and then we can go to the pet aisle together? Nope. Instead, she ran back and forth, a new product in hand each time. "Have you ever bought these dog bones? What about these? What makes these bones better than regular bones? How much is this?"

This went on for about an hour. And let's not forget her random comments and questions as we shopped: "Do you really need that much yogurt? Some people I work with want to buy your book. Oh, by the way, did I tell you I'm going away next weekend? You know, if you're going to get that much yogurt, you should just get two more and get the bulk discount! Do they have bread here? I can't believe this is the only place in the whole state that sells this milk you like. I still don't understand why you need that much yogurt."

Now, I love my mother and we have a great relationship. Once out of the store, we actually had a nice time together...

...but if this is what I do to Erin, then no wonder she has an entire blog dedicated to venting about me.

 

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

ADD and A Sense of Direction

Dscn0889_cropped_2 Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

I know that not all people with ADD have directional problems and not all people with directional problems are ADD, but it sure is a problem for me. Last Saturday I had to be somewhere for a speaking engagement. I knew, or thought I knew, exactly where I was going because I have been there before. When I got close, I realized that the directions I was reading said “take exit 8 – Atlantic Ave.” Well exit 8 was Elm St. and Atlantic Ave. was exit 7. So, there I was, trying to figure out which exit I should take. Of course, being directionally challenged I managed, as always, to pick the wrong one.

I had plenty of time and there was very little traffic, which allowed me the freedom to go around the block a few times without having an accident or something, but I still panicked! Because once I am lost, since I have NO sense of direction, I know that I cannot figure out which way makes sense. I get lost going around the block, I certainly cannot figure out North from South, etc. It is a totally helpless feeling.

My husband is astounded by this. He says that just the law of averages ought to allow me to get it right 50% of the time. I am lucky if I go the right way 20% of the time.

The reason I am making this point about directional (or spatial) ability is that the experience of being “directionally challenged” is similar to many of the ADD issues that I and many of you deal with. We can’t seem to get organized, find our keys, slow down, plan ahead or get places on time. And each of these issues, in one way or another, eventually ends us in a state of panic because we need that piece of paper we can’t find on our desk, will be late if we don’t find our keys, make mistakes if we don’t slow down and take a breath, or can’t afford to be late for work one more time.

Some things I should have done differently were to check the directions in advance to make certain if they were correct or not. I should have reviewed where I was going before hand even though I had been there before. I should have had the phone number of someone that would have been at the meeting that I could have gotten assistance from.

Another good strategy - Purchasing a GPS (Global Positioning System) for your car, can really reduce the stress level of traveling in unfamiliar places. There are many varieties and prices out there now, so they are in the affordable range for most of us. Mine is not perfect, (last weekend I did not have a specific address, so I could not program it correctly) but it works for me 90% of the time and those odds are good enough for me.

                     

Monday, October 22, 2007

ADD Moments: Shower Time

We used to keep a waterproof clock radio in the shower because showering without music is incredibly boring to me. Recently we decided that since we have an old boombox collecting dust, we should just use that in the bathroom, as the sound is much better.

Erin, being the highly-organized type, promptly removed the old shower radio.

"Hey, what did you do with the shower radio?" I protested the first time I showered and found the little clock radio missing. Since I'm often running late, and I tend to shower at the last minute, I use the clock to judge when it's time to seriously speed things up.

"We don't need it anymore. We have the boombox now," she answered.

"Well how am I supposed to tell what time it is without that clock in here?" I protested.

Erin didn't skip a beat. "You're not concerned with time outside the shower," she quipped. "Why would you be concerned with it in the shower?"

Hmmm...this ADDed wit is become a trend around here lately.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

A Maverick Approach to Diet and Health

Full fat, raw dairy. Eggs. Pastured meats from local farms, and from an Amish farmer. Sweet apples and pears from orchards in my neighborhood, and colorful vegetables growing nearby. Artisan sourdough bread made from locally grown, whole grains. Wine from my favorite vineyard that sits under mountain cliffs.

This is what I've been eating. Sounds delectable, doesn't it?

If you're an ADDer who has ever struggled with heart disease, weight loss, mood swings, energy regulation, or general health problems, then keep reading...

Here's the thing: I, like the rest of America, have always believed that dietary fat (specifically animal fat) is bad. For as long as I can remember, the message has been that dietary fat causes diabetes, heart disease, and obesity. I, like many Americans, bought low-fat cheese, skim milk, no-fat yogurt, and lean cuts of meat.

Over the past few months, I've been exposed to some maverick ideas on the subject of health and nutrition. I first started to change my mind about the health benefits of dietary fat when I read Nina Planck's book Real Food: What to Eat and Why. After reading that book, I began making small changes in my diet until, one day, I realized that I was eating completely differently...without trying to.

I had, in a very organic manner, adopted a "back to basics" diet that included plenty of fat, and almost no refined carbohydrates. (Refined carbohydrates are sometimes known as "whites:" white bread, white rice, white pasta, sugar, etc. Corn syrup, a sweetener used in many low-fat foods, is also a refined carbohydrate and one that is arguably the worst refined carb of all.) I was eating plenty of natural carbs, like fruits and vegetables, but I wasn't craving candy, ice cream, and other high-carb sweets. Erin had a similar progression in her diet, and described it this way:

One morning I was eating my favorite cereal, Honey Bunches of Oats, which is supposed to be a very healthy cereal. I looked down at the half-finished bowl and realized that I just didn't want that cereal. It didn't compare to the real food I could be eating, like yogurt and fruit or scrambled eggs. I haven't wanted my "favorite cereal" since and the box has sat in the pantry untouched.

Little by little, the protein and fat in my diet increased, and the carbohydrates decreased. So did the volume of food that I consumed. Turns out protein and fat are much more filling and satisfying! And I noticed amazing benefits to my mental and physical health, as I posted about in  'I've Never Felt Better' earlier this week.

So you can imagine how happy I am as I work my way through the very thick and interesting new book by Gary Taubes, Good Calories, Bad Calories: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom on Diet, Weight Control, and Disease. (The book was developed from Taubes' 2002 New York Times article, What If It's All Been a Big Fat Lie, which I recommend over the book if you're not a big science buff.)

Taubes painstakingly traces the history of low-fat diet recommendations, and reviews the actual scientific studies on diet, nutrition, and health. Turns out that the evidence overwhelmingly points to carbohydrates (mainly refined carbohydrates), not dietary fat, as the cause of numerous "Western diseases," such as obesity, diabetes, and yes, even heart disease. The science doesn't come close to proving that animal fat causes illnesses. (Vegetable oils do, but that's another story.) I'll leave it to Taubes to explain how this information has been ignored and covered up. It makes for a fascinating read by an author who is an objective journalist interested in presenting facts, not opinions.

Meanwhile, I'm eating the way humans did long ago, and reaping the benefits. I am continually amazed by the positive effects--from healthy skin to better moods and (much) more energy.      

This way of life has improved my ADD challenges, too. I'm finding it easier to focus and, because my stress levels are way down, I haven't been getting overwhelmed. I do still tend to be late for appointments, though. :-)

I don't expect anyone to read my posts and be convinced to make dietary changes. But I do, at the very least, recommend reading Nina Planck's Real Food and Gary Taubes' NYT article. See if these experts change the way you think about diet and health. Then, maybe, see if you don't agree. I know I certainly do...

...and I've never felt better.

 

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What To Do When Hyperfocus Works Against You

Adults with ADD are both blessed and cursed with the ability to hyperfocus.

Hyperfocus is a unique ability that we have to focus so intensely that the rest of the world temporarily disappears. It's the the opposite of boredom. Instead of having difficulty concentrating or getting started, the hyperfocused ADDer has trouble shifting focus away from the interesting subject at hand.

Hyperfocus can be a really good thing. If you're highly interested in what you're concentrating on, then the ability to hyperfocus is an asset. It can help you get through a difficult task, like a report for work or a household problem that needs to be fixed. It can also help tremendously during creative periods in which your juices are flowing and you're having fun writing, painting, crafting, or expressing yourself in an artistic outlet.

This positive hyperfocus is what I call being in the flow. You enjoy what you're doing--whether it's work, problem-solving, or being creative. You're productive and you enjoy not only what you're doing, but also the fact that you're making progress. Your thoughts and actions are flowing.

However, hyperfocus can also be a bad thing. Adults with ADD often go into hyperfocus mode when a stressful problem or situation presents itself, and the inability to tear yourself away results in more stress. This can happen when writing a paper for school, trying to solve a problem at work, attempting to fix a broken gadget, or even surfing the Internet.

Negative hyperfocus is what I call being in the stick. It's really about an inability to shift focus, and the frustration that results. You want to finish a task or make progress but your frustration in the situation has you feeling unable to move on. You become determined to do what you set out to do at any cost. (Perfectionism often causes negative hyperfocus.)

In this state, you keep telling yourself, "Just two more minutes. I've got to get this." But it's never just two more minutes. Your thoughts and actions are stuck. You don't feel good about making progress. You feel compelled to finish what you set out to do at all costs--including losing sleep, skipping meals, and compromising your mental health.

In short, positive hyperfocus feels good and makes you happy. Negative hyperfocus feels bad and makes you stressed.

Negative hyperfocus is very difficult to break out of. It takes a lot of awareness and a healthy dose of rationalizing self-talk. Forcing yourself (yes, forcing yourself) to get unstuck by stopping and de-stressing is essential to breaking the pattern.

It helps to remember that in that stressed out and frantic state, the things you actually accomplish are often inferior to what you would accomplish in a relaxed state. Operating from a calm and centered place is sure to produce better results than operating from a stressed and frantic place.

So the next time you find yourself hyperfocusing, stop and check in with yourself to determine if you're fantastically flowing, or stressfully sticking.

Ask yourself: Do I feel good about what I'm accomplishing, or am I just stressed out? If the answer is "I'm just stressed," then take a step to break the pattern. Walk away.

More On Focus Challenges for Adults with ADD

Oddoneoutsmall Want more tips on managing the focus challenges of adult ADD?

Then grab a copy of my new book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD!

Inside, you'll find information, tips, and strategies for working with your natural learning styles and energy levels to achieve better focus.

Visit the book website to see reviews, read a 5-page excerpt, and order your copy.

Go to www.odd-one-out.net today!