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Monday, December 31, 2007

Best of Experiencing ADDvantages 2007

As we approach a new year yet again, here's a look back at some of the most funny, practical,  popular, and controversial posts of 2007.

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The ADD Management Group Can Help You Start Your New Year Out Right!

We offer a number of products and services for and by adults with ADD. Here's a quick service guide to help you determine how we can help!

Oddoneoutcover180x252_2 Want to learn the 5 Essential Skills for Managing Adult ADD? Need to get some concrete ADD management strategies and a dose of motivation to go along with them? Read my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD.




Addmgmt3dprod Tired of being disorganized and ready to finally get rid of that clutter once and for all? Check out the Kiss Your Clutter Goodbye! coaching toolkit.



Addmgmt3dprod100pxFeeling overwhelmed by lack of structure in your household? Want to lead by example as you help your kids manage their own ADD? Then the Taming the Family Circus: Solutions for AD/HD Parents with AD/HD Kids coaching toolkit is for you.

* Already read Odd One Out and feel ready to take what you learned to the next level? Join the Odd One Out Coaching Program this January. Only 4 spaces remain in the evening group!

* Want to connect with other like-minded adults with ADD to learn new strategies and get support? The ADD Management Group Membership Program is a popular and affordable group coaching option.

* Or...perhaps you're ready to master ADD management skills and move forward with your goals? Private ADD Coaching with the ADD Management Group may be your best bet in 2008!

This coming year CAN be your best yet!

You CAN break the cycle of overwhelm.
You CAN manage your time.
You CAN get organized.
You CAN get focused.
You CAN achieve your goals.

Are you ready?
                        

Living Out Loud: 2007 Was a Great Year

2007 has been a phenomenal year for me as I accomplished a number of goals that I've been working towards for quite some time.

1. The ADD Management Group grew substantially this year with the addition of Associate Coach Sharon Howell, and Erin's joining us full time.

Erin and I worked very hard to get to a place where she could quit her corporate job and join the business. And while it has been a stretch financially, the personal freedom and professional rewards that come along with being in business together is worth more than those fat corporate paychecks ever were.

2. Somewhere in between business and personal success, I was thrilled to have my book Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD published this year.

Writing a book has been a goal of mine since I was very young, and I am still getting a kick out of going onto Amazon.com to see the sales ranking for the book. (It's been in the top 100 in its category for over a month now!) Plus, the feedback that I've been receiving about the book has been absolutely fantastic. Writing Odd One Out was quite possibly the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

3. And, last but not least, I took a huge leap in my personal life this year by joining a band.

As a kid, I used to dream of being a rock star. When I was little I thought I could sing. As I got older, I thought I sucked! But I took a risk about 5 years ago and started voice lessons.

Finally, this year, it was time to stop dragging my feet and take this musical passion of mine to the next step! I placed an ad looking for other musicians and got a response from a band.

I took a leap and, although I'd love to tell you that I now have my very own band, it didn't work out. But I learned from the experience and will keep moving on. Funny, this step seemed unbelievably scary--until I actually took it.

I don't know what's in store for me in 2008, but I do know this: I'll be open to the opportunities that come my way. I'll be living out loud every chance I get. And I'll be focusing on my strengths and moving forward. It's the best way I know to live happily and successfully as an adult with ADD.

My Coaching Advice for 2008

Before you start thinking about your "New Year's Resolutions,"  take a moment to reflect on the year that has passed.

  • What goals did  you accomplish?
  • What did you learn about yourself?
  • What made you really  happy?

If you want to make real changes in this coming year, then start by building on strengths and successes.

I'd love to hear about your successes in 2007! Please post them in the comments field.

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Closed for the Holidays

The ADD Management Group is closed until January 2 so we can all take a much-needed vacation! (You know, that state of being in which you don't work and don't check email. I've almost forgotten what it's like!)

There is one more newsletter and blog post scheduled to go out while we're away, and it's a good one! So have a look before you ring in the New Year.

From Punky (Santa's 10th reindeer) and all of us at AMG,
Merry Whatever-You-Celebrate and Happy New Year!

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Take The Pressure Off This Holiday

For those of us that celebrate Christmas, the pressure is on! There's less than one week left to prepare for the holiday and, unless you're a Super ADDer who managed to get it all done early, then chances are you're feeling a little stressed right now.

One thing we all need to understand about life with adult ADD is that pressure and stress increase ADD symptoms and challenges. The more pressure you feel right now, the more you'll experience overwhelm, moodiness, disorganization, poor time management and lack of focus.

So the key to enjoying yourself this holiday is to find ways to take the pressure off. Here are some examples:

Problem: You still haven't mailed those Christmas cards.
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Send e-cards.
Or: New Year's cards instead.

Problem: You haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet, and you dread the thought of enduring the mall crowds for hours this weekend.
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Buy gift cards for the remaining people on your list.

Problem: You're hosting Christmas (or New Year's Eve) dinner even though you really don't feel like cooking this year.
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Visit your local grocery store to order a pre-made meal that simply requires heating up.
Or: Move the party to a restaurant.

Problem: You love the idea of Christmas (or ANY holiday) with your family, but it's always difficult due to your ADD (among other things.)
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Don't place any expectations on the day, or on yourself. No expectations means no disappointments.
And: Excuse yourself whenever you feel overwhelmed.
And: Relax. Enjoy yourself. Laugh off any ADD moments that arise. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up on the holidays!

Do you have any other tips or ideas to take the pressure off? Is there anything in particular stressing you out right now? I invite you to share your thoughts here on my blog.

Happy Holidays!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Unorthodox ADD Management Strategies

Unorthodox ADD Management Strategy: Procrastinate with Purpose

Example 1: The Tree
Erin: I brought up the Christmas tree three days ago because you said you wanted to put it up. Are you ready yet?
Me: I don't feel like it right now. Maybe later...
Erin: Well, would you mind if I just did it myself?
Me: Score!

Example 2: Holiday Cards
Erin: Honey, when are we doing the holiday cards?
Me: Later.
Erin: You know we were supposed to do them last week. We're running out of time.
Me: We have all night.
Erin: Um...do you mind if I just do them myself?
Me: Score!

Sometimes it pays to procrastinate.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Are You a Sprinter or a Marathon Runner?

Tuesday I cut my work day short for a personal commitment.

Yesterday I took a sick day. I don't know if I was fighting something off or what, but I just couldn't get out of bed.

Today it's been snowing all day and my little Punky has been staring out the window with a sad look on her face. She just can't wait to get out there and play! I'm going to have to stop my work day a little early to take her out to hop around in the snow. (Poor little Rascal won't be able to play as much, as the snow is already taller than he is!)

These little things add up to me being really behind on my to-do list.  It's tempting to get stressed about this, but I know that life happens, and sometimes that means reevaluating the to-do list and reprioritizing the tasks.

I had a session with a client today and something in our conversation really struck her: it's okay to do things little by little. She has a big project to work on and there is just no way she can tackle it in one day. She compared it to running. She's a sprinter, not a marathon runner. She's become accustomed to sprinting and getting things done quickly, not to pacing herself for the long haul.

I think this is a great metaphor and it can be applied to big projects, and to everyday life. Adults with ADD tend to be "all or nothing" thinkers. A project or task is either done, or not done. There's no room for in between.

But part of learning to manage ADD is learning to develop new patterns of thought and action. All or nothing is useful sometimes, but being "in progress" is useful--in fact, essential--other times. Doing things in steps or little by little doesn't always feel comfortable to us, but it's a pattern worth developing.

I could take the dogs to play this evening and then work all night to catch up on my to-do list...but I won't. My work will get done little by little...and I'm okay with that. (I wasn't always.)

Are you more of a sprinter, or a marathon runner?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

ADD: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

There's been an intense discussion going on among some members in the ADHD Coaches Organization.

Some coaches think that ADD is a good thing, and wouldn't trade it for anything. They believe that the benefits of ADD well outweigh the challenges. Other coaches feel that taking this view is akin to negating the struggles that many ADDers have endured in their lives. They don't deny some of the positive attributes that many ADDers share, but they don't think that these traits should be focused on at the exclusion of the challenges that many people face.

Tara McGillicuddy has publicly shared her opinion on her blog. I haven't jumped into the discussion that's been taking place over the ACO listserve (email discussion group.) But I do have an opinion.

ADD affects everyone differently. There are certain common challenges that make up our "symptoms," but these symptoms and challenges manifest themselves differently among people with ADD. For example,  some ADDers struggled in school. It was hard to focus and concentrate, or hard to process information. But some of us didn't have trouble in school. I liked school, and was usually able to pay attention. In fact, I could often hyperfocus in school, because I was interested. I did struggle with some topics in math, but I often stayed after school to get extra help. The one-on-one teaching kept me from zoning out.

Personally, I didn't struggle in school. I performed well in my jobs. I'm not particularly hyperactive. Impulsivity has caused me to stick my foot in my mouth on occasion, but I've never made a serious, impulsive mistake.  My challenges have manifested differently. And if I had to sum it up, I'd say that the greatest challenge I have due to ADD is that my brain runs too fast.

It never stops.

I consider myself intelligent, compassionate, creative, driven, and successful. These are all great traits, but sometimes I wish I could turn the volume down on them.

This brain-that-never-stops often leads me into overwhelm if I'm not careful. I have to practice lots of self-care in the form of meditation, exercise, nutrition, time management, and rest in order to keep from getting overwhelmed all the time.

Still, I am among those who wouldn't trade my ADD for anything. I do think that the positives outweigh the negatives--at least for me. And because of this, I work well with clients who have had similar experiences. Their biggest challenge is their susceptibility to overwhelm, and all the time management, organization, self-esteem, and self-care challenges that go along with that.

Luckily, there are coaches out there with different experiences who will work well with other types of ADDers. I think it's important that we, as coaches, develop our opinions on this topic and let them be known. When looking for a coach, I always suggest that adults with ADD find someone who has "been there and done that" when it comes to the client's biggest challenge or problem.

What's your opinion on this topic? Is ADD good, bad, or ugly? Please share your thoughts in the comments field.

Friday, December 07, 2007

The Biggest Challenge In My ADD Management...

...is my dog, Rascal.

I think my sentiments can best be described by a short video clip from the extremely funny, but unfortunately canceled, HBO show Lucky Louis. In this Not Safe for Work clip, Louis has some parenting challenges with his daughter,

This is how I feel about Rascal. I love him dearly, but the dog is an asshole.

In fact, I think I call him "asshole," "you little bastard," and "mother f_cker" more than I call him "Rascal."

What's the problem?, you ask. What could that little cutie possibly do that is so bad you call him such vile names?

He pees in the house. Constantly. Because he's mad.

Now, I know, there is a whole school of thought out there that believes dogs don't do things for spite. I don't belong to that school.

In fact, I think dogs are smarter than we give them credit for. And even our Vet agrees that when Rascal pees in the house--even though he is completely house trained and does not have any kind of illness--he is trying to tell us something. Namely, that he's mad. Here are some examples:

  • He can't find a place on the couch while we're watching TV. So he pees.Racsal_2
  • He can't lay on his favorite blanket because someone else is using it. So he pees.
  • Punky won't play with him. So he pees.
  • He can't get the attention he wants because we're both busy. So he pees.
  • He tries to jump up on our bed in the middle of the night and burrow under the covers, where he likes to sleep. We command him "Off." He promptly jumps off, and pees.

Talk about frustration and overwhelm!

Every time he pulls these pissing tantrums we have to drop what we're doing and run scrambling. One of us has to clean up the carpet and one of us has to take him out (although why we bother I don't know because it doesn't seem to make a difference one way or another.) And the worst is when it happens in the middle of the night.

This kinda thing can send me into instant overwhelm, especially if I'm in the middle of doing something important - like working or sleeping! It's the kind of thing that I can't control, (or at least haven't figured out how to control yet) but that I have to deal with nonetheless.

I try deep breathing to calm myself in the moment, and I try to have compassion for the little bastard.
That's about all I can do for myself in these moments. Because until we figure this thing out, we just have to deal with it.

Sometimes, successfully managing ADD means accepting and dealing with the challenges that arise in day-to-day life. But that doesn't mean it's always easy...

What's the biggest challenge YOU have in managing your ADD right now? Please share your thoughts in the comments field.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Feeling Blah?

Those of you who have been reading my newsletter or blog for awhile know that I like to talk about "theme weeks." These are weeks in which many of my clients seem to be dealing with a similar challenge. For the past week, that challenge can best be described as "The Blahs."

It's not that things are falling apart, but stress and overwhelm are kicking in for what seems like no particular reason. More than anything, people are feeling tired, bored, and just kinda "blah."

Since this is a recurring theme in my coaching, and I have to admit I've felt it a bit myself, too, I can only conclude one thing: this inexplicable blah feeling is a result of season changes.

While not all of us suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (depression often brought on by winter), adults with ADD are more neurologically sensitive than most. So small changes in our environment can have big effects on our mood.

There are about 2 weeks left before winter officially begins, but the days are already much shorter and, for many of us, the temperatures have dropped significantly. The loss of daylight hours alone is enough to make an ADDer feel sluggish, tired, and moody. In other words: blah.

Slowing down in fall and winter is actually quite normal and natural, just as it's natural to feel more energy in the spring and summer. Rather than beating yourself up over feeling "blah," why not give yourself permission to slow down a bit?

If you don't feel up to going out as much, or taking on too many projects, don't push yourself. If you find yourself getting tired earlier in the evening, get some extra sleep. Humans, like all animals, are programmed to take our cues from nature. So when the sun goes down early, the animals begin to hibernate, and many of the plants around us go dormant, it's natural for us to want to slow down, too.

Of course, if at any point you find yourself wanting to sleep all the time or feel extreme sadness or hopelessness, then you may be depressed and it's important to talk to your doctor.

For most of us, however, the seasonal blahs will visit us every year around this time. Instead of pushing yourself
to be "productive" and beating yourself up because you're not getting as much done as you were a month ago, try putting your energy into cooking nourishing meals, enjoying good books, and catching up on the movies you want to see.

I'm willing to bet that when you take the pressure off, those seasonal blahs will begin to fade.

Do you have a comment or thought on this topic? Please feel free to share it in the "Comments" field below!