How To Overcome Any ADD-related Setback

It doesn't matter if you were diagnosed with ADD years ago or just recently. When you've lived a life with adult ADD, you've no doubt encountered many setbacks.

The "wiring" of adult ADD makes it difficult to become and stay organized, concentrate when necessary, and manage time and projects effectively,  among other things. You've probably tried to improve upon at least one of these areas many times in your life with little or no success.

Standard advice and strategies for things like organization and time management don't always work for adults with ADD. "Help" that comes from someone or something (like a book) that doesn't take your ADD into account can be worse than no help at all because, if you are unable to make the advice work for you, it feels like failure. It feels like there is something wrong with you. It's yet another setback after trying really hard to make good advice work.

And even when you do find good help from an ADD coach, therapist, or resource, change and improvement don't always come as quickly as you'd like. It takes time to overcome years of working against your ADD. Learning new patterns and strategies is a process. Feeling like you're finally on track doesn't mean that you won't experience setbacks. You will. Everyone does. It doesn't mean that you've failed. 

The real challenge is not learning the new, ADD-friendly patterns and strategies, because that can be done. The real challenge is moving beyond the inevitable setbacks.

Setbacks have a tendency to lower your self-esteem. And low self-esteem can rob you of the motivation you need to make improvements and stay on track.

The best way I know to overcome a setback--in any area--is to build success in another area. Here are some examples:

If you experience a setback in your organizing goals, then you might choose to work on maintaining an exercise routine.

If you experience a setback in time management, then you might choose to work on strengthening a friendship.

If you experience a setback in getting 7 or 8 solid hours of sleep each night, then you might choose to focus on making healthy meal choices.

It really doesn't matter which area you choose to build success in, as long as you choose something that you know you can make progress in. Success in any area will pump up your self-esteem. Then, when you feel good about your success and accomplishments again, you'll have the necessary energy and motivation to pick up where you left off when you experienced that setback.

Setbacks don't have to lead to failure. Setbacks can be temporary. You can overcome any ADD-related setback by building your self-esteem.

What are your thoughts on setbacks and self-esteem? I'd love to hear them!

Comments

[Rebecca Kauffman]

I was having a very hard problem at work and was overwhelmed. I made a couple big mistakes and instead of asking me if I need help, I was put on probation. My immediate boss was not there when I was put on probation. The VP that put me on probation had no idea what I did, he only took what other people said about me as truth. A lot of this was due to unorganization plus having too much to do.

I went to my immediate boss in January and I told him I was getting overwhelmed again, and he actually redistributed some of my tasks to other people within the department.

This has helped me a great deal and I feel I am now in control of my work. My organizational skills are great now, because I can keep up with everything.

I feel I made several strides forward now. I might have a set back now and then, but I do not think it will be as bad as in December. The understanding of my boss was a big help. He does not think I have ADD, but at least he realized what was happening and it is a step in the right direction.

[Fran]

Excellent advice, Jennifer. You are always right on target. I love reading your blog.

[Laura]

Hi there..

Your advice is so sound. I have struggled with
Severe ADHD all my life. As a child in the 70's I was labeled hyperactive, ADHD wasn't spoken of then. I find the workplace really difficult and have been fired more times than I can remember.I used to feel so different and lonely in my twenties, now I celebrate my unique outlook on life and enjoy being who I am.

I realise that my beauty, uniqueness and creativity springs from the same well as my ADHD. I stopped beating myself up for being me in my thirties and life has got better and better.
I am still restless and easily distracted, find it hard to concentrate on TV or sit nicely through a meal but these days I view these things in a positive light and love myself as the beautiful and unique person I am.