Adult ADD & Negative People: Just Hang Up

My cell phone rang last night for the 4th time in an hour. I knew who it was: my brother. We're both very caught up in politics and chat frequently during the primaries.

"I'm not so sure about Texas anymore," he said.

"This is your last warning," I told him. "I'm staying positive and I don't want the negative energy. You either stay positive or I'm hanging up!"

"Okay." He agreed. "But did you see what CNN just said about--"

Click. I hung up. I warned him!

Adults with ADD can be very "spongy." We easily absorb the moods and emotions of those around us.

Because of this, we often have to shield ourselves from the people in our lives who have bad attitudes. For example:

• The friend who can never be happy for you when you have good news.
• The coworker who likes to come to your desk and complain.
• The family member who criticizes the way you keep your house, raise your kids, cut your hair, etc.

Such people can suck the energy right out of a happy, productive, and successful ADDer. Nothing stops successful ADD management like a bad attitude. Negativity and low self-confidence will quickly quash momentum.

Of course, we can't completely dismiss negative people from our lives. But what we can do is plan ahead to protect ourselves from absorbing the energy of the negative people around us. For example:

• Choose to share your good news with the positive and supportive people in your life, and skip that negative friend.
• Gently inform that complaining coworker that you're too swamped with work and can't chat.
• Tell that critical family member "Thanks for the feedback" and then change the subject.

Don't let the negative people in your life rob you of your success and good feelings. You deserve better.

Have a comment on this topic? Please share your thoughts! You can also feel free to share how negative people have affected you, your life, and your ADD management. How do you deal with them?

P.S. I got a phone call at 1 AM last night. "You were right. But I'm still mad you hung up on me." Oh well!

 

Comments

[Fran]

I hear you, Jennifer. My sister and I both have ADD, albeit in different forms. I'm living near her for the first time in 20 plus years. I think we both are having a hard time not absorbing each other's emotional reactivity. It was easier when there was more mileage between us. I do know, though, that some boundaries do need to be established.

[NaNa]

I feel defeated with daily living my family. I am dealing with someone, who I am not good enough.
I am overwhelmed with my home, since, I seem to be the only one who trys to keep things up.
I am helping raise a child who is gifted, and the same person I am dealing with has no patience, with a six yr old. This child is drawing three dee, reads second grade material, is ahead of his class, and is very sharp. Lots of energy.
My brother is gifted too, so I understand whats going on. ADHD, Dyslexic and a genus.
Myself Add, LD, been to college, with a degree in Aplied Science.
I supect my six year old has simular traits. Need some derection.
Any suggestions?

[R. SINGH]

I have been reading your book. It is extremely helpful and so close to ADDERS daily fight to manage every aspect of life. Your suggestions are very helpful.