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"I've read recently on a couple of blogs that the term "ADDer" has been deemed offensive by some folks...As you might expect, I also have an opinion on the subject: if you're looking for a cause to fight for, this isn't a worthy one."
- ADD-Libber
From the post Name it so you can claim it.
The ADD community has been pretty vocal lately, as you may be aware.
Some people feel that they are being taken advantage of by ADD professionals who market their services online.
And others are upset about what they consider to be the high fees for ADD-related products and services. They want to know why getting help costs so much money.
Maybe you've been wondering about these things, too?
I think it's time for me to weigh in.
Hey, What's That Smell?
One of the things I pride myself on is authenticity.
When you read my book, newsletters, or blog, you're reading my authentic voice. Clients, friends, and family members have all commented that reading my book is like having a conversation with me.
The same is true when you coach with me, either privately or in a group. I say what I think in the way that I think it will be best received.
In fact, the only thing I hold back on in my life and my work is swearing. I curse like a truck driver. Some people are fine with this, and I try to tone it down for others. And I caused quite a few jaws to drop when I accidentally let the s-word slip at Disney a few years ago. It could have been much worse-believe me.
Here's what I really think about authenticity and ADD:
While some people believe that adults with ADD can be easily taken advantage of, I actually think that the vast majority of us can smell a bullshit artist a mile away. I know I certainly can.
I can also tell when well-meaning people say or do things that don't come across the way they intend them to.
Have YOU ever stuck your foot in your mouth? Ever said something that came out completely wrong and ended up hurting someone's feelings? I have. Many times.
So I try not to hold it against other people who are saying one thing when they actually mean another. Sometimes the best intentions are overshadowed by poor communication.
That said,...
One Size Does Not Fit All in the World of ADD
If you take medication for ADD, then you know that there are a bunch of different meds out there and that it can take a while to find the one that works for you. And then it can take a while to find the right dose!
And if you've read a bunch of books on ADD, then you probably found one or two that you didn't like as much as everyone else did. The same holds true for websites, support groups, and other resources. You might find value in something that others don't.
We all have ADD, but we're all individuals.
This applies to marketing, too. My sense is that many people have been turned off not so much by the ADD professionals who are marketing themselves, but by the one-size-fits-all marketing approaches that they've encountered.
These marketing approaches can sometimes come off as sleazy or, worse yet, inauthentic. If you find yourself turned off by such an approach, then that's okay.
If you don't like the way one person markets their services, you can always find what you're looking for elsewhere.
Take this newsletter, for example. Some people are going to hear my voice and instantly relate to it. Others won't. That's the way it goes.
And you know what, that's a good thing! If someone doesn't relate to me, or even like me, that's okay. I don't like everyone, either! And the good news is that there are plenty of other ADD coaches and service providers out there. It's not hard to find someone that you can relate to.
It's also worth noting that for many of us in the professional field, our work is our livelihood. Just like any other service provider, we have certain fees that we charge based on a number of factors, including our own experience and the value that people receive from our services.
If you wanted help with real estate, you'd pay more for personal advice from Donald Trump than you would to attend one of his seminars. And you'd pay more for his seminars than you would to read his books. The same is true in the world of ADD.
Which brings me to my last point. I have a very stong opinion about finding help for ADD:
If you NEED help for ADD, then don't look for it online. Look for a doctor, therapist, or support group in your local area. Sometimes you have to travel further than you would like or spend more than you want to, but it's worth it.
If you WANT help for ADD, but the situation isn't dire, then broaden your search beyond your local area. This is where the Internet and trends in global communication really pay off.
Just remember that there are plenty of professionals offering their services.
One size doesn't fit all.
What Do YOU Think?
I would really love to hear your thoughts on the subject of "authenticity and ADD."
Let's have a conversation. I encourage you to tell me what you think in the comments field below.
"I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends...with a blowtorch!"
Steffanie, in the Odd One Out Coaching Program
I have a couple of resources to share with you today from ADDitude Magazine.
First, ADDitude has a new blog roll posted on their site in which they index ADD-related blogs. Check it out for some fun and interesting reading!
Also, ADDitude has released the article Tame Time: The Best Planners for ADHD Adults by Coach Sandy Maynard as a preview for their Summer issue. If you enjoy this article, you might also be interested in our upcoming Time Management Masters Seminar.
And by the way, Sandy is one of the experts scheduled to speak at the Virtual AD/HD Conference™ in September!
In the spirit of the Time Management Masters Seminar, here are my Top 5 Time Management Tips for Adults with ADD:
Time Management Masters Seminar
I'm pleased to finally offer the Time Management Masters Seminar to those who have been eagerly awaiting an opportunity to learn effective, ADD-friendly time management systems.
In the Time Management Masters Seminar, you'll be guided through the following steps for creating and utilizing a personalized, ADD-friendly time management system.
Week 1: Tools & To-Dos
Week 2: Schedule Management & Daily Planning
Week 3: Task Management & Weekly Planning
The seminar begins June 3 and includes teleseminars, notes, worksheets, and more.
Discounts Are Available!
The Early Bird Rate of $177 (a savings of $20) is available through midnight EST on Wednesday, April 30.
OR, save $47 when you register for both the Time Management Masters Seminar AND the ADD Clutter Busters Workgroup for just $297!
Get more info or register at the program websites.
Okay, for weeks now I've been teasing you about a big announcement that I've been wanting to share. I
promised that it would include the top experts in the world of AD/HD,
and that everyone would want to know about it. Well, here it is:
Have you ever wanted to attend an AD/HD conference, but hesitated over the time, travel, and costs involved? Do you wish there was an easier way to learn from the experts and network with your AD/HD peers? Now there is!
We here at the ADD Management Group have teamed up with Terry Matlen at ADD Consults to sponsor the 1st Annual Virtual AD/HD Conference™! This unique event offers all the benefits of a physical conference, plus it's super affordable and ultra convenient.
The Virtual AD/HD Conference™ is scheduled for this September, and we already have over 20 of the top AD/HD experts lined up, including authors:
Terry and I have been working very hard to create an event that far exceeds your expectations. Our website is not up yet, but you can look for an email in the next week or two with an "official" announcement.
For now, consider yourself one of the very first people to hear about the Virtual AD/HD Conference™!
Last week I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. In typical ADD fashion, I temporarily forgot about the meatballs on the stove and was about 10 minutes late checking on them. I ran downstairs and crept over to the pot with trepidation. I was afraid I burned dinner.
I lifted the lid and was relieved to find that all was well "Oh thank you, meatballs!" I exclaimed. "Thank you for waiting for me and not burning!"
At that moment, Erin burst out laughing in another room. "What's so funny?" I asked.
"You," she said. "You do realize that you're talking to meatballs, right?"
Hey, whatever works.
Today's the big day - the Pennsylvania Primaries! I'm already excited and you can bet that I'll be glued to the television tonight.
While we wait for the results, I thought I'd share some words of wisdom that I received in an email last week from none other than Bill Clinton. (More likely someone in Hillary's campaign pretending to be Bill, but whatever.)
I'm going to give you the same advice I give to Hillary: block out the distractions -- the skeptics, the media coverage, the beltway chatter -- and keep your eyes on the prize.
With the news media constantly poring over the minutiae of the campaign, I make sure Hillary never forgets to stay focused on what matters: telling every last American about her vision, her experience, and her commitment to bringing real change to people's lives.
[bolds are my emphasis]
Sound advice, no matter what your goal.
Like many adults with ADD, I can get a little obsessed with a challenge. When I set my mind on solving a problem, I don't want to stop until the solution is at hand. And I have found myself in the middle of one such obsession: wasp control.
When I lived in NYC, I had a similar obsession with preventing roaches. (No matter what anyone tells you, if you live in NYC, you have to deal with roaches from time to time.) Kali over at Out Of Focus has a fantastically funny post on her experience with the little f*ckers, and it's not far off from my own experiences with them.
Thankfully, I no longer have to deal with roaches out here in the country. No, we have a whole new set of bug problems, including scary centipedes, cockroach-wanna-be assassin bugs, and swarming wasps. Okay, they're not swarming, but they might as well be.
They are somehow finding a way into the house and congregating on our big bow window, which is 16 feet high up and completely unreachable without the help of a handyman. I've spent hours trying to find their entry point to no avail.
But what's even more bothersome to me is their search for a place to build a nest on our deck. We practically live on the deck when it's warm out. We cook, eat, entertain, read, and just hang out on the deck all the time. And the dogs spend even more time out there than we do. Punky is smart enough to avoid wasps and other bugs. Rascal, super cute but dumb as rocks, sees them as a challenge: how long can I torture this flying thing before I kill it? Fine for flies, dangerous when it comes to wasps.
So I set my sights on killing the wasps myself. Not with a toxic bug spray, mind you, as the chemicals are a last resort for me. (Plus, I'm scared they'll band together and attack me if I blatantly kill one of their gang members.) And store-bought traps didn't work last year, so I'm on my own. And for a week now, I've been trying to find ingenious ways to trap the bastards and watch them die.
The best I've come up with so far is putting sweet stuff, like honey or syrup, at the bottom of a bottle and waiting for them to fly in. I hear that once they get into a bottle with a neck, they won't be able to find their way out. I've seen no results so far, but I'm convinced this will work. The trick must be to find the right stuff to put at the bottom of the bottle.
So out on our deck right now, I have a few beer bottles strategically placed. One has honey. One has syrup. One has vinegar and honey. One just has water. I could watch these bottles for hours as the wasps circle around them and almost go in. It's like a game.
Erin came downstairs today as I was watching my new traps and sarcastically announced, "Great, nothing says 'classy neighbors' like a deck lined with beer bottles."
I don't care. I'm obsessed with this challenge and I'll stop at nothing to get rid of these wasps. If you have suggestions, I am all ears.
I think later I'll put a piece of cheese in a bottle and see if that works...
This week I found myself sharing a particular quote with a number of clients who were struggling with issues of criticism and judgment from others. This quote is attributed to my friend and fellow MasterMinder, Chris Barrow, and it goes like this:
In life, some people will love you, some will hate you, and most won't give a shit either way.
Very true, and always helpful to remember when you find yourself fearful of what others might think.
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