Some Goals Are Achieved When You're Not Looking

When we lived in NYC, we ate a home-cooked dinner maybe 2 nights a week. Like most New Yorkers, we either went out or ordered in.

When we moved upstate, we knew that things would change. And we were okay with it. There were no longer tons of restaurants and take out places to rely on. Good, we thought, it will force us to eat more healthy.

But it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Trying to shift from 2 nights a week of home cooked meals to 7 nights was a hefty goal.

Last week, Erin came across a food journal that she was keeping in November/December of 2006. We were already out of the city, but still eating out a lot. The purpose of Erin's journal was to track not just what she was eating, but how she felt. There was an entry in her journal that said she always felt worse after we went out to eat, but that she'd have to figure out how to handle it because I said it would be impossible for me to cook 7 nights a week.

I have no doubt I said this, because I remember feeling it. That it was impossible to run a business, have a personal life, and cook every night. Well guess what? A year and a half later, I'm preparing meals 7 nights a week. Never say never.

I may not cook a gourmet meal every night, but I cook extras that will be quick prep on the nights that I'm either working late or I know I won't feel like cooking. The last time we went out to eat was when we went to a wedding a few weeks ago. Before that it was my grandmother's 90th birthday party, which was held at a restaurant. That was in April.

We still enjoy going out for a good meal, and once in a while we get a small pizza, but we don't do it often anymore. And when we don't have a home-cooked dinner, it's by choice, not by default.

But what I find particularly striking is that just a year and a half ago, I didn't think I could get to this point. When I tried to jump from cooking 2 nights a week (and that's really a generous estimate) to 7 nights a week, it seemed an impossible feat. Yet, somewhere along the line, it happened.

This is something that I talk about frequently with clients, and I also cover it in my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. Awareness is the first step in making change.

In order for me to shift my cooking and eating habits, I had to be aware of what I wanted and why I wanted it. And then I had to stop stressing and let it happen.

I've had this experience with a number of different goals in my life, most notably with positive thinking. I used to be really negative and cynical, but somewhere along the line I decided to change that. I remember experiencing a particularly stressful situation a few years ago, handling it really well, and thinking to myself, Wow, five years ago I would have handled this very differently. I've come a long way.

I created an awareness of something I wanted to change, and the action seemed to happen all on it's own. Just like my new food habits. I really don't know when the point came that I began preparing all our meals at home, I just know that it happened, and it stuck. And I'm very happy about it.

When it comes to big goals, don't stress out. Develop the awareness. Set the intention. Be open to the idea that the goal can be achieved. And never say never.