Experiencing ADDvantages

ADD Moments: You Say 'Tomato,' I Say 'Tomato?!?'

When life gets busy and the pressure is on, I always encourage my clients to reshuffle priorities. You can't do it all, and something has to give.

As always, I follow my own advice. So when things got crazy in the last month with the ADDA Conference, the launch of the Virtual AD/HD Conference, and no less than 7 family birthdays, I had to let a few things go. One of them was my yard maintenance.

The little bit of landscaping that I've done is in desperate need of weeding. And it's been ages since I checked in on the little blueberry bush that I planted in the Spring. In fact, I was afraid to even look at it because I knew that it, too, would be overgrown with weeds.

So last night we were outside playing fetch with the dogs and I decided to venture over to Mr. Blueberry Bush and see how he was doing. You have to understand, we get our lawn mowed by a service (otherwise it would never get done) and there is no window in the house that looks directly out at the blueberry bush. So what I saw was a complete shock.

There, in the spot where Mr. Blueberry Bush once lived, was a HUGE sprawling weed. It was about 3 feet high and 3 feet wide, and it had little yellow flowers. Upon further inspection, I also noticed little green fruit. Tons of it! Could they be...? Could this be...? A tomato plant?

Erin took pictures and posted them to a few forums asking for help identifying this gigantic thing that had strangled and killed Mr. Blueberry Bush. And it turns out that it is, in fact, a tomato plant. Probably a grape tomato plant. A gigantic, murderous, grape tomato plant...that I didn't plant!

My best guess is that there were tomato seeds in the bed where I planted the blueberry bush. This was the site of an old compost pile, which I choose as the site for my blueberry bush because the soil would be rich and fertile. I had no idea that there were seeds in there that hadn't decomposed.

Unbelievable. When I try to grow something, I can't. When I'm -- literally -- not looking, I end up growing a gigantic tomato plant.

If this isn't an ADD moment, then I don't know what is.

I don't even like tomatoes.

Adults With ADD: Fake It Til You Make It

Last week's newsletter, Stop Punishing Yourself, really hit a nerve with people! There were tons of great comments and conversations on my blog in response.

To sum up the topic, as adults with ADD we often think that we're so high-maintenance to those around us--what with our disorganization, trouble managing time, and lack of focus, among other things--that we need to be constantly making up for all the things we are, and are not.

I took this notion to task, and encouraged everyone to stop punishing yourself. If you don't allow yourself time to manage your stress, slow down, and make self-care a priority, then you'll never break out of the overwhelm-burnout cycle.

This week, I'd like to continue the discussion by talking about your attitude. You see, you might be contributing to the problem in more ways than you realize.

It comes down to this: if you act like you're an incompetent mess who always needs to be making up for challenges and weaknesses, then this is exactly the way people will treat you.

Think about it. People take their cues about you from none other than you, yourself.

Have you ever watched a reality show like American Idol? Even if you don't like it, chances are you've seen it.

What happens when someone has a less-than-stellar performance and then apologizes for it? You probably think to yourself one of the following things:

1. Wow, I have no idea what she's talking about. I thought she did a great job!
2. He needs to stop apologizing because he's making it worse! Simon is gonna eat him alive.
3. Man, this girl is so annoying! All she does is talk about how bad she is every week. I hope she gets voted off already!

On the flip side, what happens when a really good singer makes a mistake? They move on and keep going. They acknowledge the mistake when it's pointed out by the judges, but they don't dwell on it.

Which type of contestant do you (and the rest of the world) root for? Most likely the latter. And, of course, these are the singers who tend to be the most successful in the competition.

Art certainly does imitate life in this regard:

If you present yourself as a confident, intelligent, and friendly person, then this is what others will see and accept.

If you present yourself as a pathetic screw-up who can never do anything right, then this is what others will see and accept.

You control the way people treat you by the way you treat yourself. Accept who you are--flaws and all. Respect yourself. Take charge and present yourself as the person you are, and the person you want to be.

And if all else fails, then fake it til you make it!

Stop punishing yourself. Start living.

What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Virtual AD/HD Conference: Last 2 Days to Save

 

Tomorrow is the last day to save $50 on registration for the Virtual AD/HD Conference!

http://www.ADHDconference.com
September 22-24, 2008

Don't miss your opportunity to:

   * Get All the Tools You Need to Succeed from Top Experts
   * Break Out of Isolation as You Connect with Peers Who've Been or Are In Your Shoes
   * Save Money by Attending from the Comfort of Your Own Home
   * Participate at Your Own Pace as You Learn from the Leaders in the World of AD/HD
   * Save $50 on Your Registration Fee!

Our expert lineup includes:

   * Ned Hallowell on Finding the Buried Treasure in ADHD
   * Sari Solden on Successfully Navigating the Journey of Adult ADD
   * Daniel Amen on Healing the 6 Types of ADD
   * Patricia Quinn on Eating Disorders in Girls and Women with ADHD
   * Wendy Richardson on ADHD and Addiction
   * Terry Dickson on ADHD and Medication
   * Wilma Fellman on Finding a Career that Works for You
   * And many more!

Register now to save $50! www.ADHDconference.com

http://www.ADHDconference.com
September 22-24, 2008

Taking Care of Your Brain, Part 3

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

Taking vitamins can be a pain.  You have to remember to take them everyday.  Sometimes they are so large that it is hard to swallow them.  But, I have found that it is worth the effort. 

I take lots of vitamins each day and although I do not notice that much of a difference on a daily basis, if I stop taking them for a few days, I definitely notice a difference in my energy level.  It is just like exercise. I may not notice much of a difference while doing it, but if I quit for a few days, I notice my jeans getting tighter.

So, here is what Daniel Amen (Virtual AD/HD Conference Speaker!)has to say about vitamins and the ADD brain:

Take a 100% RDA multiple vitamin every day.  In the age of fast food diets we generally do not eat in a healthy balanced way.  A number of studies have shown that children learn bettter when they are taking multiple vitamins.  Also, ensuring you have enough B vitamins helps the body counteract stress and lower homocysteine levels.  High homocysteine levels have been associated with heart disease, strokes and Alzheimer's disease.

In addition to Dr. Amen's suggestion, Omega-3 fish oils have been getting a great deal of attention for people with ADD. And, even if it doesn't help with ADD, it is really important for avoiding body inflammation. Don't worry - if you take the capsules, you can't taste the fish!

Do you find that taking a multivitamin makes a difference in your health?

Registration Is Now Open For the Virtual AD/HD Conference!

Register now to save $50 on the registration fee.

http://www.ADHDconference.com
September 22-24, 2008

The first 20 people to register for the conference will receive a fr.ee copy of either Terry Matlen's "Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD: Beyond Piles, Palms & Post-its" or Jennifer Koretsky's "Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD." This offer is only available to the first 20 registrants!

Don't miss your opportunity to:

   * Get All the Tools You Need to Succeed from Top Experts
   * Break Out of Isolation as You Connect with Peers Who've Been or Are In Your Shoes
   * Save Money by Attending from the Comfort of Your Own Home
   * Participate at Your Own Pace as You Learn from the Leaders in the World of AD/HD

Join Ned Hallowell, Sari Solden, Daniel Amen, Patricia Quinn, John Ratey, and many more for the First Annual Virtual AD/HD Conference!

Register now to save $50: http://www.ADHDconference.com

Registration on the Virtual AD/HD Conference Opens Tomorrow!

Registration for the Virtual AD/HD Conference™ opens in less than 24 hours!                         

Don't miss this rare opportunity to get all the tools you need to succeed from top experts, break out of isolation as you connect with peers who've been or are in your shoes, and save tons of money by attending from the comfort of your own home, participating at your own pace!

On Thursday July 24th at noon Eastern Standard Time we'll be opening the virtual doors for the conference. Early registrants will save $50 off the registration fee.

The conference takes place September 22-24. Don't miss 21 of the top experts in the world of AD/HD, including:

• Ned Hallowell on 'Finding the Buried Treasure in ADHD'
• Sari Solden on 'Successfully Navigating the Journey of Adult ADHD'
• Daniel Amen on 'Healing ADHD Using Brain SPECT Imaging'
• Patricia Quinn on 'Eating Disorders in Women and Girls with ADHD'
• And many more! Check out the full agenda at: http://adhdconference.com/agenda.shtml

Sign up at http://www.adhdconference.com to be notified when registration opens and take advantage of the   $50 registration savings!

Save on Overstocked ADD Management Products!

We have a few  coaching toolkits left over from our exhibit booth at the conference and we're offering them to you at the special conference prices.                         

This offer is  first-come, first-served! Once our office stock is gone, the products will no longer be offered at this price.

Sale items include:

                         
• Coaching Toolkit: Master the Art of Time Management
                         
• Coaching Toolkit: Kiss Your Clutter Goodbye!
                         
• Coaching Toolkit: Taming the Family Circus

                         

                         

Visit http://www.ADDmanagement.com/addaspecial.html to take advantage of these savings while supplies last!

Adults with ADD: Stop Punishing Yourself

We're back from the ADDA Conference in Minneapolis and, as usual, it was fantastic!

My presentation on 'Overcoming the Chronic Overwhelm Associated with Adult AD/HD' was a hit.                      

I encouraged everyone in the audience to get a handle on overwhelm by managing stress, slowing down, and making self-care a priority.

In the Q&A at the end of my talk, a woman raised her hand and patiently waited to be called on. By all accounts, she was kind, articulate, and put together very well. So I was a bit surprised when she said something along the lines of:    

How can I possibly spend time managing stress or taking care of myself when I cause so much stress for everyone around me?

Everything you're saying makes sense, but I feel like I bring chaos everywhere I go.    

As I asked her a few more questions, many in the audience were shaking their heads in agreement. I even saw a few people tear up. The general consensus was:         

I  make so many mistakes and I'm so difficult to deal with that I don't deserve to spend any time taking care of myself.

I was really glad that this woman had the courage to ask that question because it allowed me to address a mind set that I see over and over again in adults with ADD.

We think that we're so high-maintenance to those around us--what with our disorganization, trouble managing time, and lack of focus, among other things--that we need to be constantly making up for all the things we are, and are not.

If this is how you feel then, please take a deep breath and read me loud and clear on this: YOU ARE WRONG.

You are wrong, wrong, wrong! You could not be more wrong! And you're punishing yourself for who you are.                

I know that sounds harsh, but this is one instance in which I have no problem telling someone that they are flat out wrong!         

Having adult ADD might make you  high-maintenance at times (I certainly am), but:

• Having adult ADD does not make you a bad person.
                         
• Having adult ADD does not make you a difficult person.
                         
• Having adult ADD is not a reason to punish yourself.

Rather, having adult ADD does mean that you have certain strengths and certain challenges. And guess what? So does  everyone else.

You might have a hard time staying organized at work, AND be a superstar when it comes to customer service.

Meanwhile, your coworker might be extremely organized, but not so great when it comes to dealing with people.

Different people with different strengths make the world go round. And your strengths play an integral part...even if you have adult ADD!

I asked the audience a question as we were talking about this. I don't remember it exactly, but it was something like:

Would you ever tell your coworker, 'Oh, you didn't get a chance to clean up your desk today?  Yeah...then you better skip that dinner date and stay late  until you get it done!"

Of course, everyone laughed. We would never dream of imposing the same punishments on others that we so easily impose on ourselves.                          

And when it comes to overcoming overwhelm, one thing is absolutely clear: if you don't allow yourself time to manage your stress, slow down, and make self-care a priority, then you'll never break out of the overwhelm-burnout cycle.

You'll be forever stressed out, trying to catch up, and feeling like you owe something to everyone.          

Stop punishing yourself. Start living.

I'll be continuing this discussion in next week's newsletter. In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please share them in the comments!

Pictures From the ADDA Conference

We didn't take a lot of pictures at the ADDA Conference, but we did get a few...

Here I am at my presentation on 'Overcoming the Chronic Overwhelm Associated with Adult AD/HD.' Erin left the booth to come and take some pictures, but the room was so packed she had to take pictures from the hallway because she couldn't get it!

Here I am in from of our exhibit booth with Sari Solden at the Welcome Reception. (Awful pic of me!)

And here's our booth. Exciting, huh? ;-)

And here I am with Ned Hallowell and the VIP Reception for speakers. Ned and Sari will also be speaking at the Virtual AD/HD Conference in September!

All in all, the conference was fantastic. Can't wait for next year!

ADDA Talent Show: Comedy

One of the best things about attending the annual ADDA Conference is the talent show. Adults with ADD share their talents and make us all laugh, cry, and enjoy ourselves.

This year, long-time client Barbara Bradford not only attended the ADDA conference for the first time, she also performed comedy at the talent show! Erin was able to get a few minutes of it on tape and, with Barbara's permission, I'm thrilled to share it.

Here is Barbara 'Living Out Loud.' Enjoy!