Adult ADD: Choices Make the Person

I have some questions for you to think about today:

Are you the kind of person who takes responsibility for your actions, learns from your mistakes, and chooses to move forward? This is the way that happy and successful people generally operate.

Or are you the kind of person who thinks that life happens to you, makes excuses, and feels that things are out of your control? This is the way that unhappy and unsuccessful people generally operate.

You have the power to make choices.

Will you be a happy and successful person with ADD? Will you build your knowledge and awareness? Will you take responsibility for your actions? Will you commit to learning and moving forward?

Or will you make excuses?

One of the best things about being diagnosed with ADD is that you finally have an *explanation* for many of the challenges you experience in life. A huge weight is lifted when you can say to yourself:

"So this is why it's hard for me to get started and follow through! This is why it's hard for me to pay attention in meetings! This is why it's hard for me to get to bed on time!"

Successful adults with ADD take these explanations and turn them into helpful tools. They use this awareness to make good choices, and put themselves in a better position to succeed.

Unsuccessful adults with ADD take these explanations and use them as excuses. They justify their actions (or lack of action) instead of taking responsibility for them. They throw their hands in the air, give up their personal power, and surrender to circumstance.

Excuses don't help us make change or allow us to grow; they provide us with a way out. They give us a reason to not improve our lives, and they keep us feeling disappointed, frustrated, and unhappy.

And excuses have the same effect on the people we feed them to, like spouses, bosses, and friends.

When learning to manage your ADD successfully, you must be willing to stop making excuses, and start making choices.

When you make a choice, you take control. You stop being a victim of circumstance, and start being an aware and responsible person. You open the door for more learning, more awareness, and more success.

Let's look at a practical example: You have a doctor's appointment today, and it normally takes you 15 minutes to get there. You leave on time, but you get stuck in traffic and arrive 5 minutes late. You're stressed out and frantic because the doctor is waiting, and you really tried to be there on time.

At this point, you can make an excuse and say "I did the best I could so it's not my fault I'm late!" Or, "no matter how hard I try, I just can't get to places on time!" But those excuses aren't going to help the situation, and will probably leave you feeling even more frustrated and stressed out.

The alternative is to take responsibility and learn from the experience. "I think I need to start allowing myself extra travel time in case something like this comes up."

You can clearly see which mind set leads to more happiness and success, and which option leads to bad feelings, stress, and overwhelm.

Choices allow you to move forward. Excuses keep you stuck in the same old place.

Happy and successful adults with ADD make choices.

How would you answer the question posed in this article? Do you have other thoughts on this article? Please share them in the comments!

P.S. Are YOU ready to start making choices and move forward as a happy and successful adult with ADD? If so, then check out the Odd One Out Coaching Program that begins next month!

Comments

[Tom Proko]

Choices are not it.

It is know what is the right way to go, and how to get there.

An ADD life without diagnosis leaves you with a lot of questioning your own reality. And with good reason. You have been hypersensitive and overanalyzing and overreacting.

The real power that successful people have is to be secure in themselves and not question themselves. ADD does not fertilize that ground.

That is not the question that we need to get stuck on however. Who cares? The big trick, is to introduce, program and live, better healthier habits. It is the habits that make or break your life. ADD helps create some bad ones. Putting good ones over on top of the bad ones is the key. Else, you get to live "Groundhogs Day" over and over again, and years later, your personal logs will have the same comments and issues, just like it is the first time you saw the movie.

Final inspirational comment. The hardest thing to change is human behavior. Does not matter, you still have to try.

[Lynda]

GOOD TOPIC. Reminds me of the lyrics in Rodney Crowell's song TIME TO GO INWARD - "It's time to go inward take a look at myself, Time to make the most of the time that I've got left, Prison bars imagined are no less solid steel. Time to go inward would you believe that I'm afraid, To stare down the barrel of the choices I have made,
The ghost of bad decisions make mountains out of everything I feel. Outside my window the wind weaves a path through the trees, The moon takes a shine to the shadows that fall on the leaves, It's time to go inward Hmmm, I don't know if I can do it after all that I've become, I've been a fool for money but it's vanity that always leaves me flat, It's time to go inward man I hope I have the nerve, To take an inventory of the causes that I serve, They say a man without a conscience is like a man without a country, Or something like that, It's time to go inward time to be still, If I don't do it now I don't believe I ever will, My mind is like a chatterbox whose noise pollutes the pathways to my soul. Time to go inward time to get a grip, Time to put an end to one long bad acid trip, I'm all out of excuses for the way I'VE LET MY CHOICES TAKE A TOLL. Jesus and Buddah and Krishna and Minnie Pearl knew, Do unto other the things you want done unto you, Time to go inward take a look at me, Try to make some sense of life's illusions that I see. Try to solve the riddle of what it is I have to offer to this world."

Adult ADD: Choices Make the Person
yes, indeed; everything is a choice; if we realized that sooner in life, maybe it would affect the choices we make for the better?

And of course you know this one - the decision NOT TO CHOOSE is also a choice!

Are you the kind of person who takes responsibility for your actions, learns from your mistakes, and chooses to move forward? This is the way that happy and successful people generally operate.

I TRY TO BE this kind of person. Accepting responsibility for myself and my behaviour is tough when my meds aren't working as effectively as they once did. Definitely, learning from my mistakes nowadays. Older, wiser.

I think it is very important to feel you have the POWER TO MAKE CHOICES, HEALTHY CHOICES.

I think having an ADHD Coach would help me make better choices.

Cheerio!

[Helen]

Interesting topic. I felt like it was written just for me. Although I've really gotten away from the excuses and just try to make better decisions so I don't feel the need to make an excuse, it's tough on days at work where I've got too much to do and can't focus to get things done. It justs takes one of these days to make a bunch of bad habits come back. Thankfully I realize it a bit sooner each time and make the effort to get back into a routine and think before I act.
I've seen a doc and a therapist but have never gotten an official diagnosis and tried meds. Reading the article made me think that making the appointment to move forward on this was a good decision. I stopped what I was doing and made an appointment.

Thanks Jen.

[LEANNE]

Wow!! I needed this article, Thank you!