Adults with ADD: It's Time To Get Serious About Boundaries

Adults with ADD very often have trouble creating boundaries.

September, in particular, can be a difficult time as the world picks up its pace. It's back to school for the students. More projects suddenly appear at work. Retailers are beginning to drop hints about the holiday season. And any minute now your phone will start ringing as people begin asking you to help out with various causes and functions.

There's a lot going on, and you can get overwhelmed just thinking about it!

Without the appropriate boundaries, adults with ADD fall victim to the overwhelm-burnout cycle. You get completely overwhelmed trying to accomplish everything that you're "supposed to," and then you burn out from all the mental and physical stress.

Here are 3 simple strategies that you can use to set boundaries and take care of yourself.

1. Put yourself first.
You're no use to anyone—family, friends, or coworkers—when you're stressed out and overwhelmed. Make sure you get what you need to function at your best before committing to helping anyone else.

2. Set your own hours.
Decide when you're willing to help out or do things for other people. This includes spouses and kids! If you want a night off to relax, you're entitled to it.

3. Just say "No."
Never be afraid to turn down the requests that people make of you. You don't need an excuse to decline, either. If you truly want to do something and you have the time for it, then great. But you don't need to say "yes" just because you were asked.

Remember, good boundaries help protect adults with ADD from succumbing to overwhelm.

What have you done to create good boundaries? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Comments

[Stephanie]

When I am stressed and overwhelmed I simply tell the people I am in contact with. I inform them that I need to relax and get myself organized before I commit to any plans. They will most likely understand if you put yourself first.

[Barbara]

I'm a Clinical Social Worker working on a unit with 50 Veteran/residents. For the longest time I kept my office door open all day - folks could drop in when ever for whatever reason and I was stuck in chronic pissed-off, oxygen-deprived overwhelm-land.
I now keep my door closed from 8:30 - 1 and have a sign-up sheet for residents to make appointments with me between 1:30 & 3:30. Amazing - the guys respect the door and appreciate knowing they will have my total attention at their appointment time. And I'm a much more relaxed worker bee!

[Dean]

We need to be saying "no" much more than "yes". The emotional satisfaction of feeling wanted and important will go away long before multiple "yes"es are completed.

Ultimately by carefully choosing a YES in the midst of a whole bunch of No's there will be greater success and respect from others. Strategically choosing allows us to use our gifts to everyone's advantage.

Finally, resist the temptation to give excuses for every NO. Personal time and resources are valuable. It is perfectly OK to say No for the only reason of not choosing to take part.

Despite the fact that my NO's outnumber my YES's easily more than 5:1 My wife and I have made a meaningful impact at Church.

[Kali]

After reading this post, it dawned on me that I never really do set boundaries and then I find myself committed to "helping"someone and what I thought was a one day commitment, turns out to be a week. Good to keep boundaries in check.