Experiencing ADDvantages

Adults with ADD: Clean Your Brain

Ever find yourself with a brain full of unwanted guests?

ADD brains have a way of filling up with negative thoughts. They can build up to a point where it becomes hard to move forward in your day. This is what I call a state of "mental clutter."

 

Mental clutter is made up of many different kinds of negative thoughts. Think of them like characters.

Regrets Of The Past and Worries About The Future come over uninvited and park themselves on your brain's couch, where they can brood with each other for hours.

Self Doubt rings your brain's doorbell with a new criticism every chance it gets. When you don't answer the door, it leaves messages on your answering machine telling you why you suck.

Self Pity gets in your brain's way. It's an annoying little character that frequently sprawls out on your brain's floor and throws a tantrum.

 

And, of course, All Those Shoulds hide in the corners of your brain and whisper "You should do this!" and "You should do that!" when you least expect it.

When mental clutter takes over the ADD brain, it can be stressful, overwhelming, and sometimes even paralyzing. Mental clutter creates an atmosphere of chaos and gets in the way of you being calm, productive, happy, and successful.

When mental clutter starts blocking your progress, it's time to take out the trash!

 

The best way to clean up mental clutter is to attack it head on. This means acknowledging all those characters and the messages they send, and then kicking them all out on their butts.

 

Talk with Regrets Of The Past and Worries About The Future. Find out what they're on about and ask them a few questions. Does Regrets Of The Past have any wisdom to share that might be helpful in the present? Does Worries About The Future have any plans or solutions to offer? 

    

Tell Self Doubt to F--- off. The only way to deal with Self Doubt effectively is to put up really strong boundaries. Let it know, in the most direct and vulgar manner possible, that it's not welcome in your brain.

 

Give Self Pity a Time Out. Empathize with Self Pity and let it express its concerns. Find out why its so upset. Reassure it and make it feel better. Give it a toy to keep it busy.

Sweep Up All Those Shoulds. Collect All Those Shoulds from the corners of your brain and have a look. If you find a few gems, then by all means hang onto them. Throw the rest out the window.

Don't let mental clutter take over. When you find yourself with unwanted guests, take a little time to clean out your brain!

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

Power Failure

It takes about 30-60 minutes for me to feel awake after I get up in the morning, and during that time I like to just chill with my coffee and watch CNN. This morning I got up, poured my coffee, settled onto the couch, and attempted to turn the TV on just as the power went out.

Shit. Now what?

Let me stress that those first few minutes in my morning are absolute zombie time. The people closest to me know it's not worth attempting to converse with me right after I get because I'm just stupid before the coffee kicks in.

This is a brief tangent, but since we all have ADD, what the hell? I had a great roommate during my freshman year of college. Her name was Karen. I loved many things about her, but really hated one thing. When she got up in the morning, she was happy, perky, and ready to go. When we woke up with the same alarm, she'd yawn, stretch, and sweetly chirp "Good morning, Jennifer!"

I remember calling my mom and telling her, "Can you believe Karen says 'good morning' before she ever even gets out of bed?!?" To which my mother answered, "Yes, Jen, many people actually do that."

Anyway, I found myself sitting on the couch for 20 minutes this morning, drinking my coffee with a blank stare and waiting for the power to come back. I couldn't shower (no hot water) and I couldn't flip through the paper because we only get it on Sunday. I tried to reason with myself:

• I could take the dogs for a walk.
• I could clean off my desk.
• I could get the tax papers ready to mail.
• I could catch up on my reading.

But I didn't want to. Like most adults with ADD, I have to ease into my day. That means no pressure and no to-do's until I feel awake and alert. So I continued to sip coffee and watch a black screen until I felt ready to start my day.

At which time, of course, the power came back on.

Do you allow yourself some extra time to ease into the day?

Managing Adult ADD: Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

When you make a change in your life--presumably to better manage your ADD--what's the hardest part?

The hardest part of making any change is that there is a stage in the process in which you are guaranteed to be uncomfortable.

If change was easy, we'd all be in great shape, get places on time every time, be completely organized, and get along with every member of our families. If it was easy to make changes in our lives, we'd all have everything we ever wanted. But life doesn't work that way, does it?

Specifically when it comes to managing adult ADD, the changes you want to make and the skills you want to learn don't come easy. They take time, energy, patience, and practice. They may manifest in stages and layers, too, coming together one piece at a time. The process can be slow, tedious, boring, and even painful. It's downright uncomfortable. But the process is necessary.

Let's look at some examples using a few of the 5 Essential Skills for Managing Adult ADD, from my book Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD:

• When learning how to Break the Cycle of Overwhelm, you have to learn how to take really good care of yourself, and that often means creating strong boundaries and saying "no."

Saying "no" can be dreadfully uncomfortable. But until you learn how to say no, you'll find yourself stressed out and over-committed.

It's uncomfortable to say, "No, I'm sorry, but I'm not able to watch your kids for you on Saturday." But it's necessary to learn how to do it in order to overcome overwhelm.

• Similarly, when learning how to Take Control of Your Space and Time, you have to learn how to create organizational systems that work for you. This means spending time straightening up and organizing your stuff.

Getting organized, throwing out junk, and creating systems can be awfully boring and uncomfortable. But in order to get organized enough to reach your goals, it's necessary to jump in and invest the time.

• Taking Control of Your Space and Time also means learning how to manage your time effectively. And that means developing new patterns in which you don't get caught up in negative hyperfocus.

When you're stuck in hyperfocus on the Internet late at night for no good reason, it's uncomfortable to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to move on and go to bed. But once again, it's necessary in order to manage your time effectively.

Making any of these changes successfully requires steps that are uncomfortable, but necessary. In fact, that uncomfortable feeling is often a cue that you're moving in the right direction!

You can expect that some of the the changes you make when learning to manage your ADD will be difficult. Make it easier on yourself and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

As always, feel free to post your thoughts in the comments!

Your Thyroid and ADHD

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

I read a great deal about hypothyroidism (under active thyroid) because I have an undera ctive thyroid. Some of the symptoms are fatigue, depression irritability and memory problems. Sound familiar?

Last week I received my monthly newsletter from Dr. Christiane Northrup, who is in my opinion the guru for woman’s health. She was talking about the secret ingredient to jump start thyroid health. It is iodine.

Now, I have been to many doctors complaining of fatigue for years, both before and after being diagnosed with ADD. No one ever said anything about iodine. So checking my iodine levels and making sure I have enough (Dr. Northrup says that about 80% of women are deficient) could enhance the function of my thyroid, thereby reducing some of the fatigue, depression and irritability.

The reason I am writing about thyroid is this: Since some of the symptoms of hypothyroidism are the same as those of ADD, you could have an under active thyroid and not be aware that it is making your ADD symptoms even worse. Thyroid problems in women usually do not show up until after age 35, but like most things, it is not an exact science. Make sure that your T3 and T4 are tested. You can learn more about this subject on Dr. Northrup’s website.

3 Easy Steps for Time Management through Daily Planning

How many times have you started your day knowing what you would ideally like to get accomplished, but feeling unsure of where to begin or how to prioritize it all? 

On days like this, you can find yourself succumbing to overwhelm before you ever leave the house. There is so much to do, and so little time and energy!

Time and task overwhelm can easily lead to stress and guilt, which can spiral into more bad feelings, and less action.

Many adults with ADD are resistant to the idea of daily planning. But daily planning is one of the best steps you can take to minimize overwhelm and take control of your time.

And better yet, implementing a daily planning routine doesn't have to be difficult! Here are 3 easy steps for time management through the use of daily planning:

1. Plan the Time to Plan
Decide on a time of day when you can consistently take 15 minutes to plan. The time of day isn't important. It can be a set time (8:00 AM) or simply "right before bed." Choose a time of day in which you typically feel alert, productive, and happy.

2. Review Your To-Do List
If you don't already use a to-do list, create one! To-do lists are a tool that help you keep track of what you need to do, and what you have accomplished. Review and re-write your to-do list during each planning session. Acknowledge the accomplishments you made during the day, and add any tasks or projects that came up. Move the most important and urgent tasks to the top of the list. Break large projects into 3-5 steps that all go on the list.

3. Review Your Calendar
Take a look at your daily planner (or calendar, PDA, or whatever you use to help manage your time.) See what appointments you have scheduled the next day. Block off the times in your planner. Then, begin to schedule in time for the tasks on your to-do list.

I'll be honest with you: developing a habit of daily planning takes practice. It doesn't happen overnight. But with a solid commitment to the process, it will happen before you know it! You'll be effectively managing your time and to-dos, and keeping overwhelm at bay.

You can find a detailed plan for building ADD-friendly time management skills in Chapter 4 of my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD.

Do you practice daily planning? In what ways does it help you manage your time and stress? Please share your thoughts!

How Did You Sleep Last Night?

I woke up feeling pretty good today! I was rested and relaxed, and had a productive day. However, today is the first day this week that I've woken up feeling good!

For days I was tossing and turning and waking up during the night, unable to fall asleep again. As a result, I spent several days this week feeling tired, groggy, and crabby. Not to mention lazy...

How did YOU sleep last night?

Adults with ADD often underestimate the importance of sleep. In actuality, getting proper sleep each night is essential to managing adult ADD.

Imagine you are a car, and the amount of sleep you get at night is the amount of gas that gets put in your tank. (Yes, I'm quite fond of this gas tank metaphor! I'm sure many of you have heard me use this metaphor in other contexts, namely my book, and that's because I get a lot of feedback about how it really makes things click for many of you.) Now back to our exercise...

If you go to bed and get proper rest through solid sleep, your gas tank gets filled. And as anyone who owns a car knows, cars always drive better on a full tank. I can't tell you why, but it's something we all know to be true.

If, on the other hand, you go to bed and don't sleep well or don't get enough sleep, then you start your day on half a tank. You're still able to drive, but you don't perform as well, and you hit empty a lot sooner in the day than you'd like to.

Think about it. When you haven't gotten a good night's sleep,

• Don't you find yourself running late throughout the day?
• Isn't it really difficult to pay attention at work?
• Doesn't it seem like more of a chore to eat healthy, exercise, and take care of yourself?
• Isn't it harder to motivate yourself to do those household chores, like dishes and laundry?
• Don't you find yourself snapping at people who might not deserve it?

Okay, Jen! You say. You've Made Your Case on Sleep. Now What?

If you frequently have trouble getting a good night's sleep, here are a few tips specifically geared towards adults with ADD:

1. Allow yourself adequate time to wind down before bed. Don't wake up your brain with something stimulating. This means turning off that computer(!), avoiding emotional conversations, and maybe even shutting off the TV.
2. Create a comfortable sleeping environment for yourself. This might include adjusting the temperature in your bedroom, switching to ultra-soft sheets, or investing in light-blocking curtains. Adults with ADD tend to be extremely sensitive, and it's amazing how much little things can make a difference when it comes to your sleeping environment.
3. If all else fails, see your doctor. There are medical options that you can explore with your doctor, such as taking medication or vitamin/herbal supplements, and testing for sleep disorders.

Here's to a good sleep tonight--for me and for you!

How do you deal with sleep problems? What challenges do you notice that result from not getting enough sleep? Please share your thoughts!

Take The Pressure Off This Holiday

For those of us that celebrate Christmas, the pressure is on! There's less than one week left to prepare for the holiday and, unless you're a Super ADDer who managed to get it all done early, then chances are you're feeling a little stressed right now.

One thing we all need to understand about life with adult ADD is that pressure and stress increase ADD symptoms and challenges. The more pressure you feel right now, the more you'll experience overwhelm, moodiness, disorganization, poor time management and lack of focus.

So the key to enjoying yourself this holiday is to find ways to take the pressure off. Here are some examples:

Problem: You still haven't mailed those Christmas cards.
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Send e-cards.
Or: New Year's cards instead.

Problem: You haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet, and you dread the thought of enduring the mall crowds for hours this weekend.
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Buy gift cards for the remaining people on your list.

Problem: You're hosting Christmas (or New Year's Eve) dinner even though you really don't feel like cooking this year.
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Visit your local grocery store to order a pre-made meal that simply requires heating up.
Or: Move the party to a restaurant.

Problem: You love the idea of Christmas (or ANY holiday) with your family, but it's always difficult due to your ADD (among other things.)
Solution to Take the Pressure Off: Don't place any expectations on the day, or on yourself. No expectations means no disappointments.
And: Excuse yourself whenever you feel overwhelmed.
And: Relax. Enjoy yourself. Laugh off any ADD moments that arise. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up on the holidays!

Do you have any other tips or ideas to take the pressure off? Is there anything in particular stressing you out right now? I invite you to share your thoughts here on my blog.

Happy Holidays!

The Biggest Challenge In My ADD Management...

...is my dog, Rascal.

I think my sentiments can best be described by a short video clip from the extremely funny, but unfortunately canceled, HBO show Lucky Louis. In this Not Safe for Work clip, Louis has some parenting challenges with his daughter,

This is how I feel about Rascal. I love him dearly, but the dog is an asshole.

In fact, I think I call him "asshole," "you little bastard," and "mother f_cker" more than I call him "Rascal."

What's the problem?, you ask. What could that little cutie possibly do that is so bad you call him such vile names?

He pees in the house. Constantly. Because he's mad.

Now, I know, there is a whole school of thought out there that believes dogs don't do things for spite. I don't belong to that school.

In fact, I think dogs are smarter than we give them credit for. And even our Vet agrees that when Rascal pees in the house--even though he is completely house trained and does not have any kind of illness--he is trying to tell us something. Namely, that he's mad. Here are some examples:

• He can't find a place on the couch while we're watching TV. So he pees.
• He can't lay on his favorite blanket because someone else is using it. So he pees.
• Punky won't play with him. So he pees.
• He can't get the attention he wants because we're both busy. So he pees.
• He tries to jump up on our bed in the middle of the night and burrow under the covers, where he likes to sleep. We command him "Off." He promptly jumps off, and pees.

Talk about frustration and overwhelm!

Every time he pulls these pissing tantrums we have to drop what we're doing and run scrambling. One of us has to clean up the carpet and one of us has to take him out (although why we bother I don't know because it doesn't seem to make a difference one way or another.) And the worst is when it happens in the middle of the night.

This kinda thing can send me into instant overwhelm, especially if I'm in the middle of doing something important - like working or sleeping! It's the kind of thing that I can't control, (or at least haven't figured out how to control yet) but that I have to deal with nonetheless.

I try deep breathing to calm myself in the moment, and I try to have compassion for the little bastard.
That's about all I can do for myself in these moments. Because until we figure this thing out, we just have to deal with it.

Sometimes, successfully managing ADD means accepting and dealing with the challenges that arise in day-to-day life. But that doesn't mean it's always easy...

What's the biggest challenge YOU have in managing your ADD right now? Please share your thoughts in the comments field.

Feeling Blah?

Those of you who have been reading my newsletter or blog for awhile know that I like to talk about "theme weeks." These are weeks in which many of my clients seem to be dealing with a similar challenge. For the past week, that challenge can best be described as "The Blahs."

It's not that things are falling apart, but stress and overwhelm are kicking in for what seems like no particular reason. More than anything, people are feeling tired, bored, and just kinda "blah."

Since this is a recurring theme in my coaching, and I have to admit I've felt it a bit myself, too, I can only conclude one thing: this inexplicable blah feeling is a result of season changes.

While not all of us suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (depression often brought on by winter), adults with ADD are more neurologically sensitive than most. So small changes in our environment can have big effects on our mood.

There are about 2 weeks left before winter officially begins, but the days are already much shorter and, for many of us, the temperatures have dropped significantly. The loss of daylight hours alone is enough to make an ADDer feel sluggish, tired, and moody. In other words: blah.

Slowing down in fall and winter is actually quite normal and natural, just as it's natural to feel more energy in the spring and summer. Rather than beating yourself up over feeling "blah," why not give yourself permission to slow down a bit?

If you don't feel up to going out as much, or taking on too many projects, don't push yourself. If you find yourself getting tired earlier in the evening, get some extra sleep. Humans, like all animals, are programmed to take our cues from nature. So when the sun goes down early, the animals begin to hibernate, and many of the plants around us go dormant, it's natural for us to want to slow down, too.

Of course, if at any point you find yourself wanting to sleep all the time or feel extreme sadness or hopelessness, then you may be depressed and it's important to talk to your doctor.

For most of us, however, the seasonal blahs will visit us every year around this time. Instead of pushing yourself to be "productive" and beating yourself up because you're not getting as much done as you were a month ago, try putting your energy into cooking nourishing meals, enjoying good books, and catching up on the movies you want to see.

I'm willing to bet that when you take the pressure off, those seasonal blahs will begin to fade.

Do you have a comment or thought on this topic? Please feel free to share it in the "Comments" field below!

The Food-Mood Connection

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

I recently read an article about the “food-mood connection.” The article makes the point that sugar, in any form and caffeine are really bad if you suffer from lack of energy, depression and/or stress. Since I deal with all three from time to time, I was really interested in what they had to say. I know that sugar is bad for me, both in the form of white table sugar and white carbohydrates, but I really never put it together that low energy, depression and stress can all be worsened by poor eating habits. Consuming too much sugar, caffeine and other stimulants can create a constant sense of anxiety in most people, and this can overload the adrenal glands.

Those of us who are ADD are often struggling more than the average person with low energy levels (if we are inattentive ADDers), depression and the effects of stress. Anything that can help is always welcome. And, if reducing sugar and caffeine consumption works on all three of these issues, think how much better we could all feel!

Obviously, if it were that easy, we would all be doing it. But, if you start by substituting a few foods at a time that can help, once we start feeling better, we will be encouraged to keep up the good work. What you eat affects the way you feel – for better or worse. Some of the ideas that I thought would be easy to change are:

• Try unsweetened muesli with sliced bananas
• Add whey protein powder to a protein shake and sprinkle cinnamon on cereal, toast, cottage cheese, etc. (research indicates that whey protein and cinnamon both help control blood sugar levels)
• Sprinkle flaxseed on oatmeal, cereal or a salad and eating nuts, tuna and grilled salmon are all good sources of omega-3 fats.
• Fruit with chopped nuts makes a healthy dessert
• Complex carbohydrate snacks, like the skin of a baked yam, a couple of hours before bed can boost your blood sugar and help your brain synthesize serotonin

These few simple, but sensible ideas for improving your diet could make a huge difference in how you feel on a daily basis – and who couldn’t use a little more energy, a little more positive outlook and a little less stress?!