A couple of weeks ago I published a newsletter and blog post titled A Personal Note from Jen in which I began to tell the story of my (continuing) journey toward health and wellness. I promised that I would talk about the different elements in that journey on this blog, and so I begin with this post.
Before diving into my personal story, I want to first explore what "being healthy" means to me. For starters, being healthy is not something that can be defined by someone or something else.
Health is not about an "all clear" at my yearly physical.
Health is not about being "in range" on blood or other lab tests.
Health is not about a revolving (and evolving) schedule of medications.
Health is not about a number on the scale or a size on the tag.
Health is not about feeling "okay."
Quite simply, health is about feeling I'm at my best--just about all the time. It's about being able to do what I want without limitations. It's not about feeling good, it's about feeling great! And I firmly believe that if you don't feel great the majority of the time, then you're not healthy.
I felt unhealthy at many points in my life. Specifically focusing on my life as an adult:
I felt unhealthy when I was in my early 20s, fresh out of school and new to the corporate world, and I simply couldn't handle all the stress without burning out
I felt unhealthy in my mid 20s when I started to feel powerless over PMS
I felt unhealthy when I started to gain weight in my late 20s--more than just the few "extra pounds" that I carried most of my life
I felt unhealthy when I was in my early 30s and I couldn't lose that extra weight--no matter what I did right
And I felt unhealthy when, beginning last year, I felt like I lost all my energy and motivation
During these times, my blood tests and other labs were fine. My doctors and other health care providers couldn't pinpoint a problem. They told me to eat this, or don'teat that. They told me to take this pill, or don't take that pill. Exercise more, exercise less, exercise differently. Sleep more, sleep less, get more sun, stay out of the sun...aaargh! Everyone had advice. No one had answers.
And all I knew was that I didn't feel well. I didn't feel like myself. And that's really what health and wellness is all about to me: feeling like myself. Sure, my metabolism might slow down as I age. And no, I can't really stay up all night like I used to be able to. But despite getting older, I still want to feel like myself. And I don't feel like myself when I'm chronically stressed, overly emotional, unable to lose weight, or tired all the time.
In my quest to feel like myself again, I've seen many different professionals, taken many different pills, and tried many different strategies. I'm going to highlight some of the more important ones in the coming months. Some things will be related to ADD, and some things won't. But I do think that the topics will be of interest to a lot of people, especially because I'll be sharing my lessons learned.
Now, I have just one favor to ask of you and everyone who is reading: please don't try to "diagnose" me. Yes, I know it sounds a lot like a thyroid problem. It sounds a lot like a different problem to a lot of different people. And yes, I know that you're only trying to help. But I ask you to please understand that there are many more pieces of this puzzle that I haven't revealed (yet). There are hopefully some solutions, too.
As I share elements of my health and wellness story, I would absolutely love for you to share elements of your story.I welcome you to comment on these posts with your own personal experiences. While I'm not able to respond to every comment, I guarantee that I will personally read every comment!
And in particular for this post, I'd like to know how you define "being healthy." Please share your thoughts, and anything else that feels right, in the comments field below.
Thanks for being a part of this journey with me. I think this transparent discussion of health and wellness is going to lead to some really cool things...I just don't know what they are yet. ;-)
I have a confession to make. I’ve had a number of health issues in the last couple of years, and I’ve been keeping quiet about them. But all that’s changing.
Now before you start worrying about me, let me just come right out and tell you that my health concerns are not life-threatening. I don’t have cancer, I don’t need an organ transplant, and I’m not in the hospital! Nonetheless, I’ve been miserable. And I have a hunch that many of you will be able to relate.
And before you read too far, I just want to warn you that this note is me unbridled. I’m holding nothing back. You may encounter a swear word or two, and I hope that doesn’t offend you.
So here's the deal: I’ve felt awful for the last 3 years. I’ve been overly fatigued, gained weight that I couldn’t lose, and suffered with hormonal mood swings. And every so often, a new symptom would pop up and add itself to the mix, despite my best efforts to stay healthy. Things just got worse and worse.
Then, about a year ago, we unexpectedly lost our beloved dog Punky to cancer. Now I know that many people think that dogs are just pets, but my Punky meant the world to me. When she died, I felt like my internal motor burned out and grinded to a halt. And my health only got worse from there. There is no other way to describe to you how I’ve felt in the last year other than to say that I’ve felt like shit!
I’ve been to countless doctors and health professionals in the last 3 years, including a number of internal medicine doctors, gynecologists, psychiatrists, an endocrinologist, a dermatologist, a psychotherapist, and a dietitian. (And I’m sure there are a few I’m forgetting.)
To each doctor, I explained my symptoms, and recounted my efforts to address them. Good nutrition, lots of rest (even though I have a lot of trouble sleeping), and plenty of exercise. I would stress that despite my best efforts, I just haven’t felt like myself in years.
Now, I saw a few well-meaning doctors, and I saw a few idiots (and I mean idiots!) My favorite was the endocrinologist who reviewed my daily food intake, decided that I was lying to him and that I must be eating more than I said, and insisted that an appetite suppressant was the key to all my problems. I still want to scream when I think about that jerk!
And even the doctors I liked weren’t very helpful. Each one disagreed with the others, and each doctor thought that treating my symptoms was the answer. No one listened—or rather, no one understood—when I told them that I wanted to find the cause of all these symptoms!
I’ve since learned that most doctors today aren’t trained to treat the whole person, they’re trained to treat symptoms. It’s a band-aid approach.
I was tired of the band-aids. I wanted to get to the root of my problems so that I could feel like myself again and get on with my life!
Now before things get too gloomy, there is some good news in this story. First, I may have finally found the cause of my health concerns! I was just about to give up on doctors completely when I found one who was able to look at the big picture and locate the source of my problems. It’s a little premature to say that I’ve been cured, but I’ve embarked on a new course and it seems to be making a big difference. When the time is right, I promise that I will share all the details.
Second, I’ve learned that I just can’t be so reliant on doctors and other professionals when it comes to my health. If I didn’t listen to my instincts and take action on my own, I’d probably be more miserable now than ever before. I know now that while having a good doctor on my side is important, I’m the one who really holds the power. I know I have a long road to healing ahead of me, but I’m ready for it! And I’ll be talking a lot more about this stuff on my blog in the coming months.
Third, and maybe most importantly, I’ve been inspired by my own health crisis to reach out to people who are facing the same challenge.
You know that I coach adults with ADD. But what you probably don’t know is that about 95% of those clients are dealing with health concerns over and above ADD. Obesity and inability to lose weight, fibromyalgia, lupus, chronic fatigue, migraines, insomnia, infertility, depression, and debilitating anxiety are just a few of the conditions that readily come to mind. So I know for a fact that I’m not the only one who’s been going through life—working, raising a family, trying to be happy—all the while feeling like shit!
It’s all of this—my own health concerns, my clients’ struggles, and my new knowledge—that led me to put together the Holistic Health Virtual Conference.
In the last year, I’ve become just as passionate about holistic health and wellness as I am about ADD. I’ve seen too many people suffering with not just their ADD, but a cascade of other health problems. I also have a sneaking suspicion that it’s all related, and the connections between general health and ADD are ones that I will definitely be exploring in the coming months.
For now, I’ve gone out of my way (and perhaps worked a little harder than I should have in my current state) to put together a stellar online event that introduces holistic health to people who are struggling to figure out the causes of their illnesses and move on with their lives.
The Holistic Health Virtual Conference speakers are experts on their topics who aren’t afraid to buck the establishment. They understand that health is about more than band-aids. They understand that health and wellness means paying attention to the whole person, and not just the person’s symptoms.
And even more importantly, each and every one of the Holistic Health Virtual Conference speakers is “in the trenches,” working to educate the public and make a positive difference in the lives of their patients and clients.
Just take a look at the Holistic Health Virtual Conference presenters, and you’ll see what I mean:
Dr. Charles Parker (one of my favorite presenters from the Virtual AD/HD Conference) will talk to us about causes of and treatments for psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety, and ADD in the context of your overall health
Shane Ellison will share his experience as a former big pharma chemist, and offer natural alternatives for curing and preventing cancer
Dr. Steven Hotze will share some comprehensive and really powerful information on hormonal imbalances in men and women—from thyroid disorders to estrogen dominance
Ann Louise Gittleman will be teaching us detox strategies for weight loss and improved health
Dr. Rodger Murphree will be educating us about the medical myths of heart disease
Nancy Desjardins will be telling us how to live better by beating sugar and food cravings
Dr. Michael Holick is one of the world’s leading authorities on Vitamin D, and he’ll be sharing some surprising benefits of Vitamin D when it comes to treating autoimmune diseases and chronic illnesses
Kelley Herring will educate us on the hidden dangers in our food that can lead to infertility, birth defects, and cancer
Dr. Daniel Amen (a favorite in the ADD community) is our Keynote Speaker and he’ll discuss the connection between our brains and bodies when it comes to losing weight
And I’ll be addressing the topic of stress management, which I think is one of the most important wellness factors no matter who you are or what health concerns you’re dealing with
These are the people and the information that I wish someone put in front of me 3 years ago! But if you know me, then you know I’m not a complainer. I’d rather make a difference and help others in the way I wish someone could have helped me.
If you can relate to my story and you can’t seem to get your own health on track, then you’re one of the people who I had in mind when I put this event together.
Remember, this is an online event, so you don’t need to travel, and you don’t even need to attend the live sessions because downloads will be availableto everyone who registers. And, of course, there will be ample opportunity to connect with others who are also struggling with health concerns and learning how to take charge of their own health.
I’ve made the whole process as easy as possible to ensure that the people who need this information are able to take advantage of it. If this sounds like you, then please do join us next week!
At the start of a New Year, we often find ourselves thinking about all the things we didn't accomplish the prior year, and we vow to accomplish them this year.
Few of us take the time to reflect on the past year and look at our successes and the experiences that we have learned from.
It's actually right around this time (the second and third week of January) that many people begin to have difficulty keeping up with their resolutions. Naturally, disappointment, frustration, and low self-esteem are likely to follow from what we perceive as "failure."
So rather than beating yourself up for not being able to stick to a New Year's Resolution, try taking a different route.
I'd like to offer you a coaching exercise that will help you reflect on what's really important to you, and create meaningful intentions for 2009. It is this kind of self-awareness that ultimately leads to action in the areas of your life that are most important to you.
To do this coaching exercise, set aside 15-30 minutes to think about, write about, or talk about your answers to the following questions:
Looking back on 2008...
What were your successes?
What did you do or accomplish that you haven't given yourself credit for?
What unrealistic expectations did you hold yourself to?
What one thing would you do over, if given the opportunity?
What lessons did you learn from that experience?
Looking forward in 2009...
What one goal did you want to accomplish in 2008 that you weren't able to?
Why was this goal important to you?
What got in your way of achieving this goal?
What are you willing to do differently to accomplish this goal in the future?
Looking at yourself...
Who are the people that you are most grateful for?
Which of your strengths and skills are you most grateful for?
What is your best quality?
How will you use these strengths, skills, and qualities to help you move forward in life?
Would you like to share what comes up for you in this coaching exercise? If so, please feel free to post your thoughts and reflections in the comments!
My friend Sital Ruparelia tipped me off to this great video on TED of Sir Ken Robinson speaking on "Do Schools Kill Creativity?"
It's an incredibly entertaining and thought-provoking talk, and he even touches on ADD. (Although one might argue that his conception of medication is slightly off.)
If 19 minutes is too long for you, skip to the 15-minute mark and watch it to the end. Let me know what you think!
You're probably expecting me to talk about Michael Phelps, the gold-medal-winning, record-breaking, ADHD-swimmer-extraordinaire whom everyone--especially the ADD community--is rooting for. But that's not what I'm going to talk about.
Now, don't get me wrong. I think Michael Phelps is one hell of an ADD role model, and he's really helping people see AD/HD in a whole new way. I'd love to write a post about how wonderful he is.
But what I really want to say about the Olympics is...when are they over?
No, seriously. Does anyone know when the Olympics are over?
I really, truly have never understood the appeal of watching sports on television. I barely understand the appeal of watching them live. I mean, participating is one thing. Watching is something completely different. It's boring as hell.
Swimming, handball, skiing, curling, kayaking, archery, weight lifting...I'm supposed to watch this stuff? And like it? And root for people? Really???
I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but I haven't even seen Michael Phelps do his thing. Just the thought of sitting around and watching the Olympics is enough to make me flop over and whine "boooooooooring!" I think I'd need Concerta in an IV drip just to attempt watching.
So good luck to Michael Phelps! And good luck to me...because it right now it seems like the Olympics are never. going. to. end.
One of the best things about attending the annual ADDA Conference is the talent show. Adults with ADD share their talents and make us all laugh, cry, and enjoy ourselves.
This year, long-time client Barbara Bradford not only attended the ADDA conference for the first time, she also performed comedy at the talent show! Erin was able to get a few minutes of it on tape and, with Barbara's permission, I'm thrilled to share it.
When we lived in NYC, we ate a home-cooked dinner maybe 2 nights a week. Like most New Yorkers, we either went out or ordered in.
When we moved upstate, we knew that things would change. And we were okay with it. There were no longer tons of restaurants and take out places to rely on. Good, we thought, it will force us to eat more healthy.
But it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Trying to shift from 2 nights a week of home cooked meals to 7 nights was a hefty goal.
Last week, Erin came across a food journal that she was keeping in November/December of 2006. We were already out of the city, but still eating out a lot. The purpose of Erin's journal was to track not just what she was eating, but how she felt. There was an entry in her journal that said she always felt worse after we went out to eat, but that she'd have to figure out how to handle it because I said it would be impossible for me to cook 7 nights a week.
I have no doubt I said this, because I remember feeling it. That it was impossible to run a business, have a personal life, and cook every night. Well guess what? A year and a half later, I'm preparing meals 7 nights a week. Never say never.
I may not cook a gourmet meal every night, but I cook extras that will be quick prep on the nights that I'm either working late or I know I won't feel like cooking. The last time we went out to eat was when we went to a wedding a few weeks ago. Before that it was my grandmother's 90th birthday party, which was held at a restaurant. That was in April.
We still enjoy going out for a good meal, and once in a while we get a small pizza, but we don't do it often anymore. And when we don't have a home-cooked dinner, it's by choice, not by default.
But what I find particularly striking is that just a year and a half ago, I didn't think I could get to this point. When I tried to jump from cooking 2 nights a week (and that's really a generous estimate) to 7 nights a week, it seemed an impossible feat. Yet, somewhere along the line, it happened.
This is something that I talk about frequently with clients, and I also cover it in my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD. Awareness is the first step in making change.
In order for me to shift my cooking and eating habits, I had to be aware of what I wanted and why I wanted it. And then I had to stop stressing and let it happen.
I've had this experience with a number of different goals in my life, most notably with positive thinking. I used to be really negative and cynical, but somewhere along the line I decided to change that. I remember experiencing a particularly stressful situation a few years ago, handling it really well, and thinking to myself, Wow, five years ago I would have handled this very differently. I've come a long way.
I created an awareness of something I wanted to change, and the action seemed to happen all on it's own. Just like my new food habits. I really don't know when the point came that I began preparing all our meals at home, I just know that it happened, and it stuck. And I'm very happy about it.
When it comes to big goals, don't stress out. Develop the awareness. Set the intention. Be open to the idea that the goal can be achieved. And never say never.
An interesting and encouraging study was released this week that all adults with ADD need to know about.
The study suggests that a gene linked to ADD actually helps carriers in nomadic tribes in Kenya stay well-nourished, while it does the opposite for carriers settled tribes.
If that seems slightly convoluted, it can be simply summed up in this way: The findings seem to indicate that ADD can be either an advantage or a disadvantage, depending on one's environment.
A nomadic lifestyle, in which people are continually on the move, is arguably more stimulating than a settled lifestyle. And we all know that the ADD brain (and/or body) needs stimulation to be happy. Boredom is like torture for an ADDer.
So How Do These Findings Affect You?
Of course, different conclusions can be drawn from this study. However, everyone seems to agree that it suggests an evolutionary benefit to ADD. (We're wired this way for a good reason!)
To me, the data supports the idea that environment can "make or break" a person with ADD. An ADDer with a job that bores them will not be as successful as an ADDer with a job that challenges and excites them.
Similarly, an ADDer that leads a rich and stimulating life outside of work by engaging their interests, making time for their hobbies, and enjoying their friends and family will be much happier than an ADDer who comes home from work, stresses about how dirty their house is, and then checks out and retreats to the computer for hours.
Hold Your "Yeah, but..."
If you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "Yeah, but it would be too much work to find a better job" or "Yeah, but my house IS really dirty and I can't possibly do something fun until I clean up," then you're missing the point. And you're missing out on life!
Here's a little secret that I'd like to share with you: when you create an environment that works with your ADD (not against it), your self-esteem increases, which in turn increases your motivation to accomplish the smaller and more boring tasks (like updating your resume or cleaning your house). This is one of the big themes that runs throughout my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD.
Creating more stimulating and supportive environments for yourself, like a challenging job, a night out with friends, or a class on an interesting topic, will lead to getting more stuff done in the long run.
If you don't believe me, try it. I dare you.
Have thoughts on this article or the study referenced? Please share them here!
These words apply way beyond politics. This is the maverick spirit that so many of us (adults with ADD) share. This is living out loud.
"Now
the journey ahead will not be easy. Some will say we can’t do it. That it’s too
hard. That we’re just not up to the task. But for as long as America has
existed, it has been the American way to reject “can’t do” claims, and to
choose instead to stretch the boundaries of the possible through hard work,
determination, and a pioneering spirit...
Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply about what you believe in. When you
stumble, keep faith. When you’re knocked down, get right back up. And never
listen to anyone who says you can’t or shouldn’t go on...
So I want to say to my supporters, when you hear people saying – or think to
yourself – “if only” or “what if,” I say, “please don’t go there.” Every moment
wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward.
Life is too short, time is too precious, and the stakes are too high to dwell
on what might have been. We have to work together for what still can be."
Eli Lilly and Company is proud to fund the Focus on Your Possibilities Scholarship Program.
These special scholarships recognize adults with ADHD who have
demonstrated the initiative and passion to capitalize on their talents
through education. Lilly will award 21 educational scholarships of up
to $5,000 each based on merit and recommendation. The goal is to
support adults with ADHD in their ongoing quest for more enriched lives.
For more information on the program andhow you can apply for a scholarship, visit adhd.com.
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