Experiencing ADDvantages

Video: Adult ADD (and me) On NBC's TODAY Show!

If you didn't catch me talking about Adult ADD on NBC's TODAY Show yesterday, here's the clip!

Just click the image below, or visit http://www.ADDmanagement.com/todayshow.html to view the clip.

So many of you have emailed me offering your congratulations, and I thank you all so much!

This has truly been a wonderful experience for me, and for so many adults with ADD that I've been hearing from.

There is something very powerful in sharing our stories, isn't there? I'm grateful to The TODAY Show for allowing me to share my story with millions of viewers whom I would not otherwise be able to reach. I think I'll be smiling nonstop for the next month. :-)

Enjoy the segment!

Catch Me on The TODAY Show!

This is a quick note to let you know that I'll be appearing on the TODAY Show this Sunday morning to talk about Adult ADD!

Here are the details:

The TODAY Show segment on Adult ADD

Date: This Sunday June 7th
Time: 7:00-9:00am EDT (check your local listings just to be sure!)
Network: NBC

If you're an early bird, then I hope you'll tune in live. And if you're a late owl, then I hope you'll set your DVR or TiVO.

Thanks for your support, and enjoy the segment!

A Rant About The Susan Boyle Video

In the past few days, I've been sent this "inspirational" video (click the picture) by a number of friends. I've also seen it posted numerous times on Facebook, Twitter, and countless blogs. Apparently, it's been seen by over ten million people.

The video is of Susan Boyle, a contestant on Britain's Got Talent, who wows the judges and blows away the audience with her beautiful voice. The video is usually accompanied by the tag line "Don't judge a book by it's cover." And this is where I begin to get more than a little pissed off.

The message that the world seems to be clinging to is "WOW! This ugly woman actually has a talent! Can you believe it? Hey, if this ugo can shine, so can you!"

It's as if this woman had no value in the world until she proved herself a talented singer.

Whatever happened to judging a person by who they are, as opposed to what they look like? Whatever happened to judging a person by their values? Or how they treat others? Or, even better but certainly much harder, not judging a person at all?

Susan Boyle was judged for the way she looked. This video wouldn't be "inspirational" if she wasn't.

Some food for thought: perhaps we shouldn't be quite so surprised when we find value in people who aren't beauty queens.

Michael Phelps - Can We Drop the Politically Correct Crap?

I really don't love sports. Never watch the Olympics. Couldn't care less about swimming. In fact, if Michael Phelps didn't have ADD, I really wouldn't care about him at all. But since he is a successful ADDer, he's on my radar, and I feel compelled to comment on the recent media attention he's received over being caught smoking pot.

Everyone seems to be so busy being politically correct and going on record to condemn Michael Phelps' behavior that no one is saying what many of us are thinking. So what?

Michael Phelps smoked pot. So what?

Did you ever smoke pot? I did. Granted, I haven't touched the stuff since college, but I smoked here and there, and I turned out okay. I also drank, smoked cigarettes, and had sex. I made good choices, and I made bad choices. And I turned out alright. In fact, I turned out pretty damn good.

I don't think Michael Phelps is a drug addict. I do think he's made some poor choices. When you're a public figure and viewed as a role model, you certainly want to be careful about what you do and who you do it with. And when you drink, you should NEVER drive a car. (I personally find this inexcusable.) But perhaps Michael Phelps' biggest crime in this pot smoking fiasco is quite simply being guilty of some ADD impulsiveness.

Is Michael Phelps still an ADD role model? Absolutely. His successes cannot be taken away from him. And his recent actions might even provide an excellent opportunity for parents to talk to their kids about drugs and drinking and the consequences of a person's choices and actions.

Need further convincing? See what Saturday Night Live's Seth Myers has to say about it. I couldn't agree more.

Want to Make a Change? Create a Personal Theme for 2009

In the last issue of the ADD Management Guide, I encouraged everyone to avoid making New Year's Resolutions. Generally, people commit to their new behavior for 17 days before completely giving up. A knock in self-esteem always follows. So why bother?

Instead, I suggested an exercise in reflection to increase awareness of your challenges and successes in the previous year, and to identify some positive intentions for 2009. Now it's time to take that notion a step further.

What if, instead of locking yourself into a rigid set of rules, you resolved to focus on a specific area that's important to you? I'm talking about creating a theme for the New Year.

When you have a theme in mind for yourself, you can continually focus on making improvements in one area all year long. There are no rules and no dents in self-esteem, just a general commitment to remain focused on making improvements in a specific area of your life.

To aid you in this endeavor, you can create a question that you use to check in with yourself on a regular basis.

Here are some examples:

Theme: The Year of the Authentic Self
Goal: To focus on being yourself with no anxiety or apologies, to express yourself fully and develop better self-esteem.
Question: Will this statement/action reveal my authentic self?

Theme: The Year of Better Health
Goal: To focus on making choices that will improve general health and well being.
Question: Will this action lead to better health?

Theme: The Year of Diminished Debt
Goal: To focus on eliminating debt.
Question: Will this action/purchase decrease my debt?

In all these examples, asking yourself a very simple 'yes or no' question will help you build awareness and make good decisions based on what you want to be doing.

My theme for 2009 is "The Year of Speaking the Truth." This is actually an exercise in boundaries for me. It's about being unapologetic for the choices that I make. It's also about being honest with myself about how I feel. The question I'll be asking myself is "Am I honoring/speaking my truth?"

In the past few years, I've found that creating a theme for my year is much more effective than simply making resolutions. It requires more mental attention, but it produces much greater (and more fulfilling) results in the long haul.

And I've seen too many clients, colleagues, and friends damage their self-esteem by setting themselves up with unrealistic resolutions that they just couldn't follow through on. So if you don't want to be one of them this year, then consider implementing a personal theme for 2009.

Got a theme for the New Year? Please share it with us in the comments! And feel free to share any other thoughts you have on this topic, too.

Mavericks Break the Rules

Before my book was published last year, I brainstormed titles and subtitles with my Mastermind Group of coaches. The title Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD was born out of that meeting.

A week later, I came up with the subtitle: How to Be Happy and Successful by Breaking the Rules. I loved it! It was a fantastic summary of my personal coaching philosophy. I sent it around to some close friends and colleagues and asked for feedback.

A few people liked it a lot, but a couple of people emailed me with the same concern: they suggested I use the subtitle "How to Be Happy and Successful by Making Your Own Rules," instead of "...by Breaking the Rules." Breaking the rules seemed a little too strong, they said. And really it means the same thing in the end, doesn't it?

I thanked everyone for their feedback, and chose not to change the subtitle. Here's why: Mavericks aren't content to just make new rules. Mavericks don't even like rules. And we tend to not like the people who make the rules much, either.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not encouraging anyone to indulge in a crime spree. What I am suggesting, however, is that there are a number of social rules and constraints that many ADDers struggle to adhere to.

Think about all the rules that you feel pressured to follow, like:

• You must put money before happiness when it comes to your job or career
• You must sit perfectly still in a meeting or classroom so as not to disrupt others
• You must go to bed and wake up at a "reasonable" hour
• You must super-clean your house for guests
• You must put everything away in a neat and tidy place if you want to be organized
• You must put the needs of your family and friends before your needs
• You must be productive throughout the entire day
• And worst of all - you must do everything in your power to hide your ADD from everyone around you

I call BS on all these rules, and the others like them!

Maverick ADDers actually function better with guidelines instead of rules. When we create structure for ourselves, it needs to flexible, not rigid.

The maverick approach to ADD management requires that you take a good, hard look at the rules you're pressuring yourself to follow, and decide which ones need to be broken.

When you embrace the maverick within and make a conscious decision to break the rules that have been holding you back, you give yourself permission to be happy and successful according to your own guidelines. You move beyond your challenges, and into your authentic self.

In this regard, the maverick approach to ADD management is easier than you might think. Following the rules can be painful... but breaking them can be fun.

What rules are you ready to break? Tell us! Please share your thoughts in the comments field.

Webinar Tonight: The Maverick Approach to ADD Management

If you're a member of ADDA (the Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Association), then join me tonight as I lead a members-only webinar!

Presentation: The Maverick Approach to ADD Management: How to Be Happy and Successful by Breaking the Rules
Led By: Jennifer Koretsky, Author of Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD
Time: 9pm EST
Access Info: Open to ADDA Members Only

Hope to "see" you there!

Adult ADD: Shame on Martha Stewart

In the first 2 minutes of this clip from her show, Martha Stewart tells Ludacris that he can't have ADD and write good music.

Wow! The "Domestic Diva" is misinformed about adult ADD. Just ask Justin Timberlake.

The Economy and Your ADD

The 'doom and gloom' is upon us. It's in the papers, on the web, and all over the TV. Your friends, family, and neighbors can't stop talking about it.

The 'economic crisis' is on everyone's mind, and fear and anxiety are everywhere. Is it affecting you and your ADD?

If you're weathering the storm without feeling overly fearful and anxious, then bravo! I applaud you and encourage you to keep doing whatever is working for you.

However, if you're experiencing an abundance of negative thoughts and anxiety about the current financial climate, then keep reading.

What I don't want to talk about today is finance and economics. I'm not qualified to advise anyone in this regard.

What I am qualified to talk about is how a climate of fear and anxiety can wreak havoc on an ADDer, and what you can do about it. So let's begin by briefly looking at the reasons why ADDers in particular are having a difficult time right now.

First, adults with ADD are 'spongy.' We have a tendency to absorb our environments. So if we're surrounded by good news and happy, positive people, then we feel great. But if we're surrounded by bad news and worried and anxious people, then we can quickly find ourselves feeling worried and anxious, too.

Second, adults with ADD also have a tendency towards negative thoughts, rumination, and general anxiety. Anxiety is a very common co-existing condition for adults with ADD. Anxiety can increase ADD challenges, and ADD challenges can increase anxiety.

So you can see how the everyday challenges of ADD and/or anxiety combined with financial woes and a media circus can easily send an adult with ADD into a tailspin!

Specifically, I've been hearing from adults with ADD about how difficult it's been to:

• Stay focused at work without getting distracted by the financial news stories and updates.
• Reassure their family members (especially aging parents) that things will be okay.
• Fall asleep at night when they are so worried about their jobs and mortgages.

In response to these concerns, I've compiled an 'ADD Management Action Plan' to help you move forward in the present moment. Remember, this is NOT financial advice. It IS about managing your ADD when things are particularly stressful.

ADD Management Action Plan

1. Cut down on media time. This means television news, newspapers, and online news. It might also mean cutting off conversations with 'chicken little' types who want to dump their own anxiety on you.

In order to manage your own anxiety, you have to remove yourself from everyone else's. You can get all the news and information you need by watching one news broadcast, reading one newspaper, or visiting one website. Limit your news time to no more than 30 minutes a day.

2. Manage the everyday stress in your life. The overriding theme of my book Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD and my coaching is that Stress Management = ADD Management.

The more you control your stress, the easier it becomes to control your ADD challenges. You'll need to be calm, centered, and relatively stress-free in order to make good decisions about your finances and your future.

3. Stop brooding and take action. Express your fears, worries, and anxiety to the appropriate people. You might have some legitimate concerns about your job, your mortgage, and your retirement savings. Talk to your spouse, your financial adviser, your accountant, or anyone else you need to. Seek solid explanations for the things you don't understand. Get the facts before you make assumptions.

Additionally, talk out your anxiety when you feel it setting in. Journal about it if you have to. Don't let those thoughts swim around in your head and become rumination!

And if you can't seem to get a hold on your anxiety no matter what you do, then don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or a therapist.

Remember, you're not alone. Many ADDers are having a hard time coping right now. But you CAN do something about it!

How is the current economic situation affecting YOUR ADD? Please share your thoughts on in the comments field!

ADD Olympic Events

Alan David Stein offers this fantastic idea for ADD Olympics which absolutely cracked me up:

THE CLUTTERTHON: The Gold medal goes to the participant not who finishes cleaning up first, but who STARTS the cleanup first. This event will be the first to begin, right after the opening ceremonies. Two weeks later, if no one has stepped up, then no award will be given.

Check out Alan interviewing me about adult ADD on his former radio show last month: