Experiencing ADDvantages

Home Depot: The Outdoor ADDer's Best Friend

This past Saturday was beautiful. The weather was warm and the sun was bright. After taking the dogs for a walk, I knew it was the day to begin working on outdoor projects.

I began by washing the mold off the deck. When our house was built two years ago, we failed to apply a wood stain/sealer to the deck. We actually bought the stuff to get rid of the mold and seal the wood last year and never got around to it. At this point, it really needs to be done. So I started on that project on Saturday, only to discover I didn't have the right tools and would need to make a trip to Home Depot.

So I was forced to shift to a new project, cleaning up the debris in the yard. Some strong storms this Winter knocked a bunch of branches off trees and onto the yard. I gathered the sticks and branches in piles, only to find myself wishing I had both a wheel barrow (how have I gone two years now without one?) and a wood chipper. Suddenly the idea of making my own mulch with a wood chipper was ridiculously exciting. Another trip to Home Depot was in order. Although I will resist the desire to buy a wood chipper as it would be way too much money. Unless, of course, I could rent one!

My ADD brother once commented that he makes at least three trips to Home Depot during a typical weekend project, which he thought everyone did. "Unlike us," I told him, "non-ADDers plan ahead, read the directions, and get everything they need before they begin!"

It sounds so easy, but it so rarely happens. Long live Home Depot.

The Perils of Traveling

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

I had a very interesting experience traveling in Florida last week with relatives.  We started in Orlando, went to St. Augustine, Sarasota and back to Orlando to catch our flight.  My brother-in-law does not like to spend money and I was not pleased with the places we ended up staying in because they were very very budget-conscious. 

As many of you may experience, my ADD causes me to be sensitive to loud (and not so loud) noises, daylight when I am trying to sleep and often unfamiliar motion. Consequently, I have a great deal of trouble dealing with noise from adjoining rooms, doors slamming, people running and talking loudly in the halls, noisy air conditioners and air blowing on me from overhead fans or misplaced heating vents. To my surprise, the budget hotels we stayed at were very quiet.

Our last night, we stayed in the airport hotel.  It looked luxurious, the staff was courteous, our luggage was brought to our room and we were able to get a wake up call (a good thing since we had to get up at 4:30 am).  But, once in the room, the air-conditioner was very loud, the walls were so thin I could hear the TV in the next room and I heard every noise from the room above me.

I know that it is difficult to anticipate what accommodations will be like if you haven't been there before, but if you are noise sensitive like me and sleep is important to you, it might be a good idea to ask as many questions as possible when booking rooms for your next vacation.

What ADD challenges do you experience when traveling?

 

How To Overcome Any ADD-related Setback

It doesn't matter if you were diagnosed with ADD years ago or just recently. When you've lived a life with adult ADD, you've no doubt encountered many setbacks.

The "wiring" of adult ADD makes it difficult to become and stay organized, concentrate when necessary, and manage time and projects effectively,  among other things. You've probably tried to improve upon at least one of these areas many times in your life with little or no success.

Standard advice and strategies for things like organization and time management don't always work for adults with ADD. "Help" that comes from someone or something (like a book) that doesn't take your ADD into account can be worse than no help at all because, if you are unable to make the advice work for you, it feels like failure. It feels like there is something wrong with you. It's yet another setback after trying really hard to make good advice work.

And even when you do find good help from an ADD coach, therapist, or resource, change and improvement don't always come as quickly as you'd like. It takes time to overcome years of working against your ADD. Learning new patterns and strategies is a process. Feeling like you're finally on track doesn't mean that you won't experience setbacks. You will. Everyone does. It doesn't mean that you've failed. 

The real challenge is not learning the new, ADD-friendly patterns and strategies, because that can be done. The real challenge is moving beyond the inevitable setbacks.

Setbacks have a tendency to lower your self-esteem. And low self-esteem can rob you of the motivation you need to make improvements and stay on track.

The best way I know to overcome a setback--in any area--is to build success in another area. Here are some examples:

If you experience a setback in your organizing goals, then you might choose to work on maintaining an exercise routine.

If you experience a setback in time management, then you might choose to work on strengthening a friendship.

If you experience a setback in getting 7 or 8 solid hours of sleep each night, then you might choose to focus on making healthy meal choices.

It really doesn't matter which area you choose to build success in, as long as you choose something that you know you can make progress in. Success in any area will pump up your self-esteem. Then, when you feel good about your success and accomplishments again, you'll have the necessary energy and motivation to pick up where you left off when you experienced that setback.

Setbacks don't have to lead to failure. Setbacks can be temporary. You can overcome any ADD-related setback by building your self-esteem.

What are your thoughts on setbacks and self-esteem? I'd love to hear them!

Feeling Blah?

Those of you who have been reading my newsletter or blog for awhile know that I like to talk about "theme weeks." These are weeks in which many of my clients seem to be dealing with a similar challenge. For the past week, that challenge can best be described as "The Blahs."

It's not that things are falling apart, but stress and overwhelm are kicking in for what seems like no particular reason. More than anything, people are feeling tired, bored, and just kinda "blah."

Since this is a recurring theme in my coaching, and I have to admit I've felt it a bit myself, too, I can only conclude one thing: this inexplicable blah feeling is a result of season changes.

While not all of us suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (depression often brought on by winter), adults with ADD are more neurologically sensitive than most. So small changes in our environment can have big effects on our mood.

There are about 2 weeks left before winter officially begins, but the days are already much shorter and, for many of us, the temperatures have dropped significantly. The loss of daylight hours alone is enough to make an ADDer feel sluggish, tired, and moody. In other words: blah.

Slowing down in fall and winter is actually quite normal and natural, just as it's natural to feel more energy in the spring and summer. Rather than beating yourself up over feeling "blah," why not give yourself permission to slow down a bit?

If you don't feel up to going out as much, or taking on too many projects, don't push yourself. If you find yourself getting tired earlier in the evening, get some extra sleep. Humans, like all animals, are programmed to take our cues from nature. So when the sun goes down early, the animals begin to hibernate, and many of the plants around us go dormant, it's natural for us to want to slow down, too.

Of course, if at any point you find yourself wanting to sleep all the time or feel extreme sadness or hopelessness, then you may be depressed and it's important to talk to your doctor.

For most of us, however, the seasonal blahs will visit us every year around this time. Instead of pushing yourself to be "productive" and beating yourself up because you're not getting as much done as you were a month ago, try putting your energy into cooking nourishing meals, enjoying good books, and catching up on the movies you want to see.

I'm willing to bet that when you take the pressure off, those seasonal blahs will begin to fade.

Do you have a comment or thought on this topic? Please feel free to share it in the "Comments" field below!

ADD and Eating Disorders

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

Did you know that binge eating is considered an eating disorder and is more prevalent than anorexia or bulimia? I attended a workshop with Patricia Quinn, MD last week at the CHADD Conference and learned a great deal about binge eating and its prevalence among ADD woman and girls.

Binge eating is defined as recurrent episodes of consuming large amounts of food without the regular use of inappropriate compensatory behaviors seen in bulimia. It is characterized by consumption of excessive quantities of food in a discrete period of time and is typically impulsive, secretive and creates feelings of loss of control and shame.

Easting disorders and ADD share some important characteristics. Among these are impulsivity (lack of impulse control), low self-esteem and depression. Women and girls with ADD overeat because they feel out of control, stressed, bored, or have a lack of awareness of how much or why they are eating.

I don’t know about you, but this definitely fits me. Most of my binging is on carbohydrates and I do it when I am tired, depressed or stressed. I also regret the binge afterwards, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it again.

Dr. Quinn suggests that the best way to deal with binge eating for ADDers is to treat the ADD symptoms first. Most stimulants will decrease the impulsivity and suppress appetite. They can also decrease distractibility and improve attention span, thereby reducing the binge eating episodes.  She also suggests that we use distraction (doing something interesting and not near the kitchen, during the times of day when we are most vulnerable to binging.)

I certainly found it helpful to understand that my binge eating is connected to my ADD and that there is a practical solution available. I will keep you posted.

                        

What To Do When Hyperfocus Works Against You

Adults with ADD are both blessed and cursed with the ability to hyperfocus.

Hyperfocus is a unique ability that we have to focus so intensely that the rest of the world temporarily disappears. It's the the opposite of boredom. Instead of having difficulty concentrating or getting started, the hyperfocused ADDer has trouble shifting focus away from the interesting subject at hand.

Hyperfocus can be a really good thing. If you're highly interested in what you're concentrating on, then the ability to hyperfocus is an asset. It can help you get through a difficult task, like a report for work or a household problem that needs to be fixed. It can also help tremendously during creative periods in which your juices are flowing and you're having fun writing, painting, crafting, or expressing yourself in an artistic outlet.

This positive hyperfocus is what I call being in the flow. You enjoy what you're doing--whether it's work, problem-solving, or being creative. You're productive and you enjoy not only what you're doing, but also the fact that you're making progress. Your thoughts and actions are flowing.

However, hyperfocus can also be a bad thing. Adults with ADD often go into hyperfocus mode when a stressful problem or situation presents itself, and the inability to tear yourself away results in more stress. This can happen when writing a paper for school, trying to solve a problem at work, attempting to fix a broken gadget, or even surfing the Internet.

Negative hyperfocus is what I call being in the stick. It's really about an inability to shift focus, and the frustration that results. You want to finish a task or make progress but your frustration in the situation has you feeling unable to move on. You become determined to do what you set out to do at any cost. (Perfectionism often causes negative hyperfocus.)

In this state, you keep telling yourself, "Just two more minutes. I've got to get this." But it's never just two more minutes. Your thoughts and actions are stuck. You don't feel good about making progress. You feel compelled to finish what you set out to do at all costs--including losing sleep, skipping meals, and compromising your mental health.

In short, positive hyperfocus feels good and makes you happy. Negative hyperfocus feels bad and makes you stressed.

Negative hyperfocus is very difficult to break out of. It takes a lot of awareness and a healthy dose of rationalizing self-talk. Forcing yourself (yes, forcing yourself) to get unstuck by stopping and de-stressing is essential to breaking the pattern.

It helps to remember that in that stressed out and frantic state, the things you actually accomplish are often inferior to what you would accomplish in a relaxed state. Operating from a calm and centered place is sure to produce better results than operating from a stressed and frantic place.

So the next time you find yourself hyperfocusing, stop and check in with yourself to determine if you're fantastically flowing, or stressfully sticking.

Ask yourself: Do I feel good about what I'm accomplishing, or am I just stressed out? If the answer is "I'm just stressed," then take a step to break the pattern. Walk away.

More On Focus Challenges for Adults with ADD

Want more tips on managing the focus challenges of adult ADD?

Then grab a copy of my new book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to Adult ADD!

Inside, you'll find information, tips, and strategies for working with your natural learning styles and energy levels to achieve better focus.

Visit the book website to see reviews, read a 5-page excerpt, and order your copy.

Go to www.odd-one-out.net today!

 

I've Never Felt Better

I've been doing something different the past few months and I've never felt better. Before I reveal my secret, let me first share with you the results of this change that I've made:

• My skin is soft and smooth. Really soft and smooth.
• When I get up in the morning, I'm up. I don't feel groggy at all.
• Mt stress levels have gone way down. I am just not getting as stressed out over things and, when I do get stressed, I am bouncing back rather quickly.
• I am losing excess weight, without trying.
• I find myself being able to concentrate better without the help of medication. Yesterday I got through 90 minutes of answering emails without getting distracted once.
• For the past two months, I have had extremely little PMS symptoms. I used to get bad enough PMS that Erin would stay clear of me for 7 days a month.
• My mood has improved dramatically. I am much more upbeat and happy. I haven't even been swearing at stupid drivers on the road! I have more "gas in my tank" and thus greater resiliency during the day.

Here's my secret: I'm eating fat.

Now before I go any further, let me just say that I am not on a diet. I don't believe in diets (they don't work and often do more harm than good in the long run) and I am not pushing a new weight loss trend.

I am, quite simply, eating "real food." Real food is natural, traditional food that has been minimally processed (if at all.) And eating real food means eating fat, an essential nutrient.

For the past 25 years, we've had the notion that dietary fat is bad for you pushed down our throats. We were told that it causes heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. However, the actual scientific research on this subject clearly proves that it is not fat that causes these illnesses, but carbohydrates. Specifically, refined carbohydrates in the form of sugar, white flour, and white rice.

So what am I doing differently? I've gone back to basics, concentrating on protein which, in it's natural form includes fat (think milk, cheese, meat, eggs), plus lots of fruits and vegetables, with some whole grains and potatoes to boot. I am making an effort to cut out refined carbs, but I haven't cut them out completely. And the truth is, I don't crave these foods like I used to, anyway.

I'm so excited about this subject, and the myriad of positive effects that I'm enjoying, that I will be posting more about it this week and in the future. For now, if you're interested, here are some resources I recommend:

• Managing ADD With Food, a previous blog post
• What If It's All Been a Big Fat Lie?, a New York Times article by Gary Taubes (you may need to register on the site to read the article)
• The Oiling of America, by Sally Fallon and Mary Enig of the Weston A Price Foundation

How does your diet affect your health, mood, and your ADD? Please post your thoughts and experiences in the comments field!

Read the Fine Print

Hell, forget the fine print, read the normal print!

When I was in 6th grade, my teacher gave us a test. It looked something like this:

1. Read all the directions before starting your work.
2. Draw a circle on the left side of the page.
3. Draw a square on the right side of the page.
4. Fold your paper in half length-wise, then unfold it.
5. Fold your paper in half width-wise, then unfold it.
6. Underline the word "the" every time it appears on this page.
7. Draw a circle around the word "a" every time it appears on this page.
8. Ignore the directions in numbers 2-7. Write your name on the top of the page and turn it over on your desk. Please sit quietly while the students who didn't read the directions are working.

Can you guess which group I was in? I was underlining and circling and wondering why some of the kids were just sitting there. When I reached the end of the "test," I panicked. Uh-oh...I hope we're not being graded on this!

A lot of kids and adults with ADD have trouble following directions. It's an attention thing. Reading the directions is boring! And for some ADDers, directions in print aren't easy to absorb. Many of us prefer to figure it out as we go along.

So it came as no surprise to me that there was a lot of confusion during the month that my book was on presale.  A bunch of newsletter subscribers  just clicked right through on the buy button and ordered their copy...and then wondered where it was  a few weeks later. They didn't read the rest of the page to find out that they were buying at a preorder discount. In exchange for buying a copy in advance of the release date, they saved (quite) a few bucks.

But you know what, I was flattered. If these ADDers were so excited to get my book that they didn't feel the need to read the details before buying, then that says a lot for my reputation!

Besides, if you're going to have an ADD moment, who better to have it with than an ADD coach?

Did YOU get your copy of my book yet? Visit the book website to get your copy of Odd One Out today!

Why Trying to Fit In Doesn't Work

Now that my book, Odd One Out: The Maverick's Guide to ADD Management, has been released, I've been asked by a few people, "What exactly is the maverick approach to ADD management?" In order to explain, I'd like to tell you a quick personal story about music that has more to do with ADD than you might expect...

I've been taking voice lessons on and off for the past couple of years. I've had two different voice teachers, both young musicians who don't adhere to classical voice training techniques. Although my voice is much better suited for opera, I just wanna sing rock! I don't care about classical technique.

In my last lesson, I was having some trouble. I just wasn't singing well! I wasn't hitting the right notes and my timing was off. I was annoyed with myself and my frustration was building. Finally, my voice teacher said to me, "Stop thinking, stop trying so hard, and just sing." So I did.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and let go. Suddenly I was singing again, and sounding great. Afterwards, it occurred to me what the problem was: I was trying too hard.

I was trying to hit the right notes, trying to breathe in the right places, and trying to project my voice...and I was caving under the pressure. But once I stopped trying so hard and started trusting myself, the pressure went away. My performance improved greatly, I felt relaxed, and I had fun.

The Maverick Approach to ADD Management

My voice lesson experience is a great metaphor for the maverick approach to ADD management. If you're trying really hard to live life the way you're "supposed" to, then chances are you're stressed out, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

Taking the maverick approach to ADD management means that you stop trying to fit in and start embracing your differences. You trust yourself and do what works for you, not what works for everyone else. Some examples include:

• Feeling comfortable taking care of yourself, even if that means saying "no" to people or taking a day off just to relax
• Doing whatever it is you have to do in order to pay attention, even if that means doodling in a meeting
• Organizing yourself in ways that are comfortable for you, even if that means being a little disorganized compared to most people's standards
• Refusing to stress out about the little things, even if that means running a few minutes late sometimes

The maverick approach to ADD management is NOT about trying to be good at everything. It's not about trying to conform to other people's standards. And it's not about fitting in!

The maverick approach to ADD management IS about managing your ADD in such a way that it doesn't prevent you from moving forward. It's about feeling comfortable being yourself, and finding solutions to your challenges on your own terms. It's about enjoying your life, and having confidence in yourself.

Mavericks aren't afraid to be the "odd one out" because they know that following other people's rules doesn't work. It leads to stress, frustration, anxiety, and pressure. Breaking those rules and making your own is a much better fit for adults with ADD.

Mavericks would rather be happy and successful than waste energy trying to fit in.

Are You A Maverick?

Think you could use a dose of maverick inspiration? Visit the Odd One Out website to read a 5-page excerpt from the book!

                

Why It's Important to Work With an ADD Coach

Posted by Sharon Howell, ADD Management Group Coach

Have you ever wondered why ADD coaching is important or how it could help you? Have you thought about trying it, but just keep procrastinating?

Here is my definition of ADD coaching: It is an ongoing partnership that helps clients live more effective and satisfying lives by maximizing strengths and talents and providing clients with structure, support, skills and strategies that improve their quality of life. This all takes place in a non-judgmental environment, where the client directs what he or she needs most from coaching.

Put in simpler terms:

• Do you struggle with organization, time management, planning, decision making, impulsivity, inattention or self-esteem? 
• Do you have difficulty with social interaction? 
• Are having trouble holding down a job because you can’t focus or complete tasks on time? 
• Do you have a high number of speeding tickets because you're always running late?
• Do you sit at home reading magazines or watching TV all day instead of doing the dishes, paying the bills or cleaning the house? 

If so, then it's time to hire a coach!

If you really want to change - if you really want your life to be better - then you have to change some of those well established behavior patterns that just aren’t working.  It isn’t easy. I know, I have been there.  Coaching will help you deal with these patterns, one piece at a time.

Working with an ADD coach helps you to identify what is preventing you from reaching a specific goal and to create a plan for reaching that goal.  It narrows the gap between your ability and your performance and teaches you to compensate for life skills that were never learned.  Most importantly, coaching supports your ability to self-direct actions and to change behavior.  The end result is a more self-aware, more organized, more confident and happy you, using your strengths and talents to improve your quality of life!

Sound good? 

If you would like to start working on your challenges to reach your goals, I am here to help!